#237: Tears of the Weeping Ant, Chris “Ghost Pussy” Laudando

* Featured image by @WCChastain

Pod Description:

A long time listener is put on “Trial by Fire Ants”. Old man Johnson looks to put an end to unnecessary silliness. Walt takes a power meeting.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Chris Laudando

Mentioned Person:

Toad

Quotes:

“Holy shit there’s a fuckin’ frog in my slipper!” – Walt

“First he wiped the sauce off of me then he fucked me.” – Bry about Q

We couldn’t walk out of Cracker Barrel without blowjobs coming our way.” – Q

“Hell hath no fury like a middle aged man with an internet connection.” – Walt

“Every morning I’m on the ferry and I see Bono’s dick on my phone.  He just pushed his cock in my phone.” – Chris

“My iPhone’s haunted!” – Bry as Chris

“We’ve shown we can’t sell to the female audience, so it’s going to be Gitem in the underwear.” – Walt

Game Played:

Reoccurring Segment:

Trial by Fire… Ants

Screen Gate 2015

Memorable Moments:

Chris Laudando is called to the carpet to defend himself for his condemnation of Bono giving him a free album downloaded to his iPod.  Walt and Bry prosecute while Q acts as judge.  Chris defends himself after Ming declines acting as his lawyer stating he can’t even defend himself let alone someone else.  Chris equates Bono giving him a free album to a sexual assault.  He is found guilty and must write apologies to Bono.  The nickname “Ghost Pussy” was supposed to be redacted… no one abides by this ruling.

Q and Bry spent a romantic weekend in Q’s parent’s cabin watching movies.  Q is a first responder through and through saving Bry by wiping hot pizza sauce off his arm.

At Cracker Barrel Q is recognized by servers and guests who keep interrupting to ask for pictures.  The waitress insists that he owes her a picture since as a fan she’s the reason he has a job.  She condemns Kevin Bacon for not realizing that fans are responsible for a celebrity’s success.

Bry’s crazy number busts in his apartment demanding he and Suzanne sign a petition to have the building owner fumigate for bed bugs.  She later sends Suzanne a text calling her a cunt and Bry is crazy.  She also demands Bry remove the window screen that their cat knocked out when it escaped earlier this year, thus ScreenGate 2015 begins.  Bry sends an epic response that amazes Walt to the point he says it was like encasing her in ice and then shattering her.

Toad reappears on Twitter after a decade in hiding.  Q finds it amusing he uses a frog as a profile picture rather than a toad.  Walt says there is no difference.  Q and Bry decide it would be too difficult to fly Toad to the east coast for an interview and that Skype would be the best method.

Walt is given carte blanche to do whatever he wants for a MeUndies ad campaign.

Sal’s used Snapple bottle sells on eBay for 40 bucks.

Music:

Music: Capgun – Fu Man Chu

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