Grab your cookies, pour some egg nog and cuddle up by that YULE log! It’s time to join Walt, Bryan, Q, Git ‘Em Steve-Dave, Mike, Ming, Troy, Sunday Jeff, Frank #5 and Tom, for this year’s Tell ’em Steve-Dave Christmas Special.
“You wanna be all milk-mouthed while you’re trying to win points?” – Walt
“If it’s got teats I can milk it.” – Gitem
“Sage is on her period but I’m sure she washed her hands.” – Bry handing out cookies Sage made.
“Yeah you always see Santa reading Velvet.” – Sunday Jeff
“I’m sure the orphans pay their 5 dollars a month on Patreon.” – Gitem
“I invited you for the big pussy eating contest!”- Walt to Q.
“Shockingly no one imagined reindeer bestiality porn.” – Troy
“What starts off as an innocent snowball fight ends up in Painal.” – Bry
“Fuck’em man I’m so sick of these orphans. Jesus Christ making me feel bad.” – Bry
“I agree, any sex is good sex but it’s best to protect yo Willy.” – Sunday Jeff as Bumble
“I’m beginning to think Q’s inability to talk and my inability to get a right answer are really affecting us.” – Bry
“Orphan, an offensive term? Oh it is!” -Bry
“I will look it up, Tell Them Steve and Dave.” – Orphanage Lady.
Bry gives out Christmas presents to all the contenders. A photo of Bry’s War of the Undead Nazi tattoo for Sunday Jeff, a bottle of champagne for sober Mike, a racist sugar bowl for Ming, a porno mag and lube for Gitem, and hats and a photo for Q.
Walt has always dreamed of helping to save an orphanage at the holidays after seeing so many television Christmas specials. This year Team I Sell Comics, Team Tell’Em Steve Dave and Team All New Sunday Jeff Show will compete to win big bucks for a real New Jersey failing orphanage. Troy and Frank #5 will judge while head writer for TANSJS Tom will keep score. The winning team will present the orphanage with an oversized novelty check.
Walt asks Q if he would want to match the amount won tonight, Q declines.
First Event: The teams must guess the plot of a Christmas themed erotic story based off of the title. The team that provides the plot closest to the real story will win. Stories include Breeding Mrs. Claus , Snowballin’, Penetrating Claus, and Christmas in Diapers
Second Event: Each team must say what they would wish for as a gift to give the entire world. The judges will award points based on practicality and generosity. I Sell Comics would give unconditional peace and love. Tell’Em Steve Dave would send out an EMP so people wouldn’t have to listen to other peoples opinions for once. The All New Sunday Jeff Show would give an oral cure for cancer.
Third Event: Each team must guess whether a Christmas themed fetish provided by Walt is real or made up. This game is reminiscent of Do I Make You Horny
Fourth Event: High Ho Ho Low. The teams must take turns guessing if a number answer provided by one of the judges is higher or lower than the true value of a question asked by Walt.
Fifth Event: In this event each team takes turns putting on giant fuzzy Christmas mascot heads and acting out scenes including three plot points provided by Walt.
Scene 1: Bry as Rudolph and Q as Santa discuss alternatives to abortion and new tactics to fight terrorism while advocating mandatory castration to sex criminals.
Scene 2: Mike as Santa and Ming as Frosty discuss condeming corporate greed and cyber bullying while advocating for limiting free speech.
Scene 3: Sunday Jeff as Bumble and Gitem as Rudolph promote Christian values and safe sex while condemning illegal drugs.
Sixth Event: TESD Town Roll a Roll. In this version of Roll a Role cardboard cutouts of TESD town are used.
Scene 1: Jeff as Ming tries to tell Gitem as Walt to expand his horizons as far as what food he will eat. Q as Walt and Bry as Ming try to steal the points with the same scenario.
Scene 2: Mike as Sunday Jeff is arrested for toy return fraud and must convince Ming as his cell mate not to rape him. Bry as the cellmate and Q as Sunday Jeff try to steal.
Scene 3: Q as Mike tries to tell Bry as Ming that he wants to replace him as host of I Sell Comics.
Scene 4: Gitem as Walt greets Sunday Jeff as Tom Brady who enters the Stash looking for comics.
Scene 5: Ming as Sunday Jeff confronts Mike as Bry for destroying the poker table in a rage. Gitem as Jeff and Jeff as Bry tries to steal.
Scene 6: Bry as Ming can no longer hide his attraction to Q in hats and must tell Q as Gitem. Jeff as Ming and Gitem as himself try to steal.
Jeff, Bry, Walt and Gitem deliver the giant check to the orphanage.