#480: The Human Fifi

*Featured image by @Dayoldpizza

Pod Description:

Q wins a major award. Could you beat up an elephant? Have Bry, Walt & Q outlived their desirability?

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Quotes:

“My cat almost pissed in my face the other day.” – Bry

“I’d never fart in a restaurant.” – Walt

“Why is he doing it, why!” – Bry

“Shit won’t get me here, vaccine won’t travel all the way down here.” – Walt

“I don’t know if what I’m doing is worthy of a life worth living.” – Walt

“On your family coat of arms it says ‘Good Enough'” – Bry

“I’m not totally against this, I’m all about smiting your enemies.” – Q

“That’s why I will only live with pets that I could beat the shit out of if I ever have to.” – Walt

“I agree Edgar on so many things I’m like ‘oh no!'” – Bry

Memorable Moments:

Impractical Jokers wins the MTV award for best unscripted comedy. Q is expecting Walt and Bry to undercut this achievement as MTV is not that prestigious. Jersey Shore wins the lifetime accomplishment award and Q buddies up with Vinnie. Snooki yells at host Nikki Glaser for shitting on reality shows.

Bryan is now fully vaccinated and is befuddled how no one can agree if masks are or are not still required among the vaccinated populace. Walt believes Covid congregates around the butthole.

The TESD General Store has a journal which documents the day to day activities. Most days just involve watching 70s TV with Git’em. Walt asks Git’em if he thinks he is past his prime, Git’em maintains he hasn’t hit his prime yet. Q suggests making a TESD General Store Cameo account where it’s like a grab bag who is on the recording, it could just be Walt or Git’em, you might luck out and get a Bry or a Q. Walt considers recording an emergency Patreon podcast with Git’em for weeks where they don’t have anything: The TESD General Store Old Timey Radio Hour.

The wedding photographer at Bry’s wedding has died suddenly. Is Bry a bad person for not feeling bad after he told him he needed to suck in his gut while shooting him getting dressed for his big day?

Walt mentions a future Bro Side Attractions where Bry, Walt, Frank 5 and their respective ladies are going to the Grand Canyon and invites Q to fly out and meet them there.

Bryan swindled by not being able to get a refund for a cancelled Kids Bop Concert.

Bryan asks Walt if he would be annoyed if when Bry dies he insists in his will that Walt give the Eulogy knowing it would make him uncomfortable? Q thinks Eulogiez would be a great Vinylcast III.

During the recording of Bryan’s appearance on Who are These Podcasts Princess Mitch sprays urine all over him.

A shocking amount of Americans believe they could win a fist fight with a bear.

Walt remembers playing with a taxidermied iguana as a child until it exploded with maggots. Bry invisions a future where he is taxidermied and turns into a real life Oogie Boogie.

Walt get’s wolf called by two older women who tell him he’s got a sweet ass.

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