#524: Cletus’ World

Featured Image by @TESDTown


Bry witnesses a savage attack, Q has a new best friend, are cats aliens?


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Frank 5

Mentioned Person



So everyone sounds like Donald Duck? -Walt 

He does have a memory for grievances, this ‘spite file’ – Q

This is fucking bullshit!-Q

You go to Ohio, you’re worshipped like a god. I go to Ohio, I have to move furniture for two straight days sweating like a fucking pig!- Bry

I was waiting for some pizza or something, maybe an acknowledgment of my humanity.- Bry

I tried to convince him we went to high school together but he was a good twenty years younger than me. – Bryan

I gotta watch Moonraker I can’t move these couches!- Bry

There’s nothing wrong with a little buck teeth! He’s hot as hell! – Walt about Cletus

How about a sweet tea & A- Bry as Maribeth

Memorable Moments:

Walt ponders how Frank 5 could usurp Sunday Jeff’s top spot in TESD favorite guests.

Bryan recounts his trip to Ohio to help move furniture and pick up some things for his new house. Walt asks why he didn’t just hire movers. Bry and Walt once helped Kevin move back in the day only to find out he didn’t have anything packed ahead of time and once they got to the new location he got into a big fight with his girlfriend and retired to his room without any thanks to the boys. Walt never remembers the slights in his life.

During his visit to Ohio Bryan witness Maribeth’s aunt’s dog Dante (Snoogans) maul a groundhog. Bryan tried to turn the hose on it but Dante was not deterred. He got Maribeth to take care of it.

Q was disrespected by a hawk that would not respond to his attempts to shoo it away from eating a squirrel. He tried to do a post mortem autopsy to make sure it wasn’t his friend Stumpy. He buried the dead squirrel in a poison ivy patch unintentionally and is dealing with the repercussions. Q is now worried about taking walks with Benjamin Cat.

Bry has to return to New Jersey early so leaves Maribeth to finish packing the Pod to have things sent back. On his way back he gets a speeding ticket and believes he was profiled due to his NJ license plate. Q posits what would happen if one of Maribeth’s old beaus finds out that she’s back in town without her husband. Walt, apparently confused about the geography of Ohio, names this hypothetical ex Cletus and the playacting that follows will go down in TESD history.

Q’s latest celebrity best friend is Dr. Craig, the shark doctor that saved Q’s hand when a shark mistook it for a squid in the water.

Subway restaurants offer free food for life for the first person to get a 12×12 tattoo of a foot long. Bryan asks how much would they have to offer to get a tattoo of Jared.

Poland labels cats as an invasive alien species.

Scientist’s finally acknowledge that a species of lake creatures similar to Nessie could be possible due to fossils found.

Science refutes Cosmo by asserting that Blue Balls is a real medical condition.

Walt goes to see Chicago and the Beach Boys, Q goes to see the Grateful Dead.

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