#529: Oyster Boners

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Bry continues to battle his pool, 9/11 menus, Sage stands up for Dada.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Mentioned Person



“I didn’t go to pool school, what the hell do I know?” – Bryan

“I’ve got enough boners.” – Walt

“My boner days are over.” – Bryan

“Rich people go to heaven.” – Q

“Of course he wants to be a tampon, he feels bad about himself.” – Bryan

“No King of mine should ever speaketh about being a tamponeth.”- Walt

“You are making Ming look like a homebody, he’s Howard Hughes next to you!”- Walt to Q

“I know I just said fuck Casper but I didn’t mean it, I was talking about the ghost!” – Bryan

“Clam’s not even an animal, just a piece of disgusting snot.” – Walt

“I’m trying to get my (beard) long enough to cover my FUPA, I’ll win this battle yet!” -Bryan

“Fuck my FUPA, I need a cookie.” -Walt

Memorable Moments:

Walt suggests making this episode a tribute to the Queen and put it on bandcamp to raise money for the new King Tampon. Walt and Bry reminisce about Phillip’s love letter to Camilla.

Bryan takes a step back from his anti-Converse stance after learning both Walt and J-Sarge wear Chuck Taylors. Other hated clothes are Disney character shirts on people less than ten or retired people.

A sweepstakes winner got to take 50 guests with them to Disney World.

Why is Ming currently at a drone trade show?

A mattress salesman once tells Bryan a weird stereotype that all Asians like firm beds.

The oldest Koi ever lived was 226 years old. Clams can live up to 507.

Walt is on the hunt for a Detroit Style Pizza.

Bryan almost has a fatal accident falling into the pool holding onto a plugged-in electric leaf blower after stepping into an open pool filter. When told Sage can only ask if he caught it on video.

Walt has never heard of chub rub but once heard a customer at a pizza parlor comment on her FUPA problem.

Sage sticks up for Bryan during a road rage incident by yelling out her window for the driver to stop bullying her Dada.

Is there trouble in paradise between Mr. and Mrs. Tom Brady. Since Tom couldn’t walk away from football on Gisele’s request could Walt and Bryan quit TESD if asked by their wives?

A country club hosts a brunch in remembrance to 9-11. It is not in good taste.

She Hulk goes twerking. Walt wishes he could gain some pounds in the backside.

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