#484: Cruzin’ 4 Male Tail

*Featured image by @mayowulff

Pod Description:

Radio serials, lawyers, water pills, the bar for ugly.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Quotes:

“Animals don’t have a hat. An animal doesn’t have sun screen.” – Walt

“Oh no, no I wasn’t looking for dick.” – Bry

“Yeah you’re kinda like in your birthday suit floating around in your mother’s womb gettin’ busy!” – Walt

“What makes them better than you? You don’t see a lizard wearing a hat!” – Bry

“How many times do I need to watch these two Lame-os fight about whether he’s Spider-Man or not?” – Q

“I want to be able to publish my own version of Mickey Mouse. I was told that when I was born that was my right if I live long enough.” – Walt

“That’s my mutant power. That’s what I do. It’s always someone else’s fault.” – Q

“We;d like to submit the ‘No Homo’ defense your honor.” – Q

“Oh hello, what are you doing here. You look just like me.” – Bry living out his in utero fantasy.

“How many times do you got to do missionary style before you’re like ‘here take this gun go in the alley and mug me on the way home.'” – Q

Memorable Moments:

High temperatures while recording compounded with difficulty setting up the audio board make for a frustrating time.

The Middletown Art Center is hosting a night of actors recreating 100 year old radio serials including Fibber McGee and Blondie and Dagwood. Walt suggests licensing out TESD for live dinner theater. This leads to a discussion on what makes a newspaper comic strip survive the test of time and why the Art Center thinks this will be a big event. Walt suggests it’s only because of the public domain.

Walt has been drinking more water to try and acclimate himself for the trip to the Grand Canyon. Several ants have voiced concern for the guys safety.

Walt believes the public domain laws are going to be rewritten to keep precious IPs in the hands of big companies. He wants to be able to make a version of Mickey Mouse who was a test subject and is now taking revenge on the society that experimented on him. Will TESD ever be public domain?

There is a petition to deny Jeff Bezos permission to re-enter Earth. People are likening him to Lex Luthor.

A lawyer has contacted Walt about getting rights to Cryptozoic Man back. This leads to a discussion of lawyers and if their love of the law outweighs the love of victims rights. How can a lawyer separate themselves from the crimes their client commits and do they feel guilty if they reoffend after being let off. Bry discusses how the defense lawyer of the guys who carjacked him tried to disparage him by claiming he was in that neighborhood cruising for a gay hookup.

After the discussion in the previous episode about the Kink parades Bryan researches several bizarre fetishes such as one for sexual acts under water which Walt claims must link back to peoples memories in utero. Other fetishes include quicksand, face farting, violent crimes, and using people as furniture.

Walt suggests taking water pills to stay hydrated out west while note being bogged down by water. Further research shows that water pills are in fact to remove excess water so would be the worst thing to take.

Will the Elephant Man always be the bar for ugly? Has Bryan ever been someone’s example of ugly?

Walt reads a series of quotes to get the reactions from Bry and Q. “A woman’s loyalty is tested when a man has nothing. A man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything.”

“Actions prove who someone is, words just prove who they want to be”

“When all your wishes are granted, a lot of your dreams are destroyed.”

#483: A Joy Ride in Space

*Featured image by Nicky Branco

Pod Description:

Neighborhood patrols, ‘raunchy’ parades, advertisers, serial killers, Jeff Bezos and stoned lobsters

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

ReOccuring Segments

Hitlearn something new: Does a pair of sneakers resemble Adolf?

Quotes:

“Q, I noticed your boner’s in full bloom.” -Bry

“Fuckin’ no cameras while we’re drinking baby blood.” – Walt

“You think there’s something as a just king?” – Q

“I diagnose you with Gay.” – Bry to a rollerblading Walt

“Give me his numbah.” – Q

“Are they talking about BJs being performed on the parade float? Too much.” – Walt

“Nesting dolls of shame.” – Bry

“A tree dying is like a cock that can’t get hard.” – Walt

“You can’t just show up in a barbage bag and expect this dick to fuckin’ salute! I don’t care how much blue chew is in there.” – Q

“I found the funnier they are the less chance we get paid.” – Bry about advertisers.

“I want to dangle by my fuckin’ fingertips off a side of a mountain.” – Walt

“She’s clowning you, dog.” – Q to Bry

“You guys would be soaking wet and I’d be dry as a pickle.” – Walt

“Civilization has made us soft, wet pussies.” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

Q is all scarred up from poison ivy on the face, arm and legs. He has been doing his own gardening like the common man. Q pulls the post from Twitter after receiving too much sympathy and concern. Walt gives Q the same remedy he once gave his daughter, go jump in the river. Walt tells of a time he had to go to the Emergency Room with Poison Ivy that gave him swelling down below. Walt is allergic to all poison plants, even the dreaded poison apple.

A Pride parade is scheduled at Riverside Park in Red Bank. What sort of kink and public displays would be tolerated? Walt suggests BJs allowed as long as the guy keeps his mouth on it the whole time so you never see phallus. Karens at a California hotel berate a couple sharing a same sex kiss.

Q hits NYC for a night of partying for the first time since COVID. Jiggy gets punched in the face for no reason. Q says its like Sodom and Gomorrah.

Would Q ever join a neighborhood watch? Walt suggests he can pretend to be bird watching but really keeping tabs on the town. A young Walt was aggressively scouted to join the neighborhood watch, he says it was like a Frankenstein mob. Walt used to believe this guy would let Walt’s dog out until he observed the dog opening the gate on it’s own.

Blue Chew ad has Walt ask questions about how fast acting the drug is and what if you pop too early at a restaurant.

Bryan asks Walt what he would do if he decided to reconnect with his father but found out he was imprisoned for being a serial killer. Would he be more likely to sit down to talk to him or less. Bry thinks Edgar could have several bodies hidden under numerous construction sites.

Jeff Bezos is going to space. People mock his rocket for looking too much like a dick. Walt chides him for putting a crew at risk for his joy ride.

The guys’ road trip to the Grand Canyon is ready to set off. Walt buys new hiking sneakers. Debbie Flanagan questions Bryan’s stamina. Walt considering getting a hoverboard to help him traverse the canyon. Bryan is turned into a pack mule for the hike and is in charge of protection.

Git’em maintains that birds are immune to spicy food.

#482: In Praise of a Bear Girl

*Featured image by @MattTesd

Pod Description:

Man-eating birds, skin cancer, overthinking, and Hitlearning.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Hitlearn Something New: Two Dutch sisters hunt Nazis and Groucho Marx dances the Charleston where Hitler died.

Quotes:

“It’s an indictment on science and I don’t give a fuck!” – Walt

“I hit-learned something.” – Q

“That semen becomes weak and just kinda bump into each other like Three Stooges.” – Walt

“He fuckin’ contemplated his relationship with his dad, saw there was nothing there and he got upset about it? How weird is that?” – Q

“Oh you got daddy issues? Get in line!” – Walt

“If your own parents don’t love you, what chance do I have? – Bry

“Yeah isn’t it great that level of regret. Like I fucked up!” – Bry

“You don’t even know what would be in that shack, whether it’s food or a deranged seaman.” – Walt

“I trust this science because they’re payin’ us.” -Walt

“As soon as they stop paying us, they go on the Faucci pile.” – Bry

“If an hourglass figure can be masculine he has it.” – Walt about Git’em

“Git’em has it easy compared to what Bubbles had to endure.” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

According to Screen Rant Batman is a billionaire aristocrat that goes around beating up poor people. Q says his money is a mere plot device to explain where he gets all his gadgets and not a political commentary.

Walt has been in a funk a few weeks ago after realizing he never had a relationship with his dad. For two weeks it just hit him hard and then he came to terms with it but is left wondering why it took 50 years for it to be an issue. This leads Q to ask if Walt has ever thought about therapy and says how much it has helped him. A therapist tells Bryan that he dates needy people just to prove to himself that he is worthy of love due to his relationships with his parents.

Could this contemplative period be due to Walt’s youngest daughter graduating High School? Is his relationship with his father why Walt has a hard time opening up to people and hearing “I Love You” from men?

Walt is aghast at Bryan going to a weird sea food shack and risking mercury poisoning. Bry sees a 9 pound lobster and wants to set it free. Q claims that lobsters can be biologically immortal.

Bryan witnesses a seagull pluck a fish out of the sea and imagines how life would be different if birds were big enough to do that to man.

Calling back to an earlier discussion, footage came out of a woman fighting off a bear to protect her dogs.

Would people blow up Mount Everest to protect people from climbing it and dying?

Walt believes in Git’em and his dream of fathering children one day but he needs to hurry up as his sperms are getting old and senile. Walt compares Git’em’s missing teeth to Michael Strahan’s gap. It is revealed Git’em has not shaved his beard since his fire.

Q gives a recap of the after hours Graceland tour he took with his parents. Bry asks if Neverland will ever get the same reverent treatment. Bubbles the chimp is enjoying retirement.

#481: Silent Sufferin’

*Featured image by 

Pod Description:

Hair metal tattoos, Q saves Bry from a nursing home, who in TESD shows toxic masculinity?

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Quotes:

“Did he once urinate on the floor?” – Bryan

“I wanted to say to Walt, I love you.” – Bryan

“Are you trying to break down my walls here?” – Walt

“Your tender walls.” – Q

“My sugar walls?” – Walt

“I wanted to talk to you about beer and alcohol in general.” – Walt to Q

“This is an intervention.” – Bry

“Have fun with your brain cells dyin'”- Bryan

“He’s still out there trying to steal free comics from me.” – Walt

“I don’t know how to mix chemicals and shit, what am I a scientist?” – Walt

“She’s like what, is butt fuckin’ next?” – Bryan as Maribeth about bro-love

“Hurhurhurhur, where’s the shakes Grimace?” – Bry

“It opens at noon for me, I let you come in at 11 because you got no where else to go!” – Walt to Git’em

“I’ll put my stream up against your stream any day!” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

Q flies down to Memphis to surprise his parents with a special visit to Graceland helped with his connections he made there.

Walt reads an article that says that any amount of alcohol, no matter how small can cause brain damage. He enjoys being able to say “I told you so.” Walt wonders how his customer that he used to deliver comics to has survived so long with his wet brain when seemingly healthy people drop dead all the time. He hasn’t changed at all in the 10 years since TESD has started.

Q ponders the cover to Poison’s Flesh & Blood album of the band’s name and album title as a tattoo and wonders if people ever look back and regret getting it in real life. Would there ever be a time where it comes around to be cool again?

Bry catches heat on Reddit after last week’s annoyance at the mask confusion.

Bryan hangs out at Q’s house but the constant fall of white petals stops him from swimming in his new pool. Q’s pool boy can’t keep up with the pollen.

Bryan takes the time to tell Walt that he loves him, making Walt very uncomfortable. Bry wonders why he can say it so freely to Q, Sal and Mewes but has never told Walt.

Bry asks Walt what he would do if on the Grand Canyon Road Trip Maribeth disappeared between stops and Bry told everyone she ran off with a trucker. Would they believe him? Q says the real question is why Bry is not more upset and is still going along with the trip. Bry wonders if Frank and Mrs. 5 would invite him into their bed.

Q says if there is ever a time Maribeth is shopping around for a nursing home for Bry, that he would take him in with his IJ money. He could do water aerobics in the pool.

Would IJ continue if Q was transitioning from male to female? Q doesn’t think so as the guys wouldn’t be able to make fun of him.

Q goes through a list of hair and glam metal stars to see if he can be considered a fan of the genre. Once it gets to Bon Jovi he has to admit it.

Walt finds an article about Toxic Masculinity and reads through the examples to see if they are guilty of it. Examples include making fun of people wearing safety gear, making fun of guys wearing purple, making fun of guys that admire female athlete, being subservient to their wives, and not being into cars. Walt admits he has been the perpetrator and the victim in several of these.

Some highlights of the General Store logbook are read. Git’em has been leaving stuff all over the place but Walt doesn’t chastise him because it would be toxic to chide him for his pack rat nature.

China bans Doctor Who and all time travel related pop culture. Walt and Q think it might be because they are trying to hid the truth that they have discovered the secret.

#480: The Human Fifi

*Featured image by @Dayoldpizza

Pod Description:

Q wins a major award. Could you beat up an elephant? Have Bry, Walt & Q outlived their desirability?

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Quotes:

“My cat almost pissed in my face the other day.” – Bry

“I’d never fart in a restaurant.” – Walt

“Why is he doing it, why!” – Bry

“Shit won’t get me here, vaccine won’t travel all the way down here.” – Walt

“I don’t know if what I’m doing is worthy of a life worth living.” – Walt

“On your family coat of arms it says ‘Good Enough'” – Bry

“I’m not totally against this, I’m all about smiting your enemies.” – Q

“That’s why I will only live with pets that I could beat the shit out of if I ever have to.” – Walt

“I agree Edgar on so many things I’m like ‘oh no!'” – Bry

Memorable Moments:

Impractical Jokers wins the MTV award for best unscripted comedy. Q is expecting Walt and Bry to undercut this achievement as MTV is not that prestigious. Jersey Shore wins the lifetime accomplishment award and Q buddies up with Vinnie. Snooki yells at host Nikki Glaser for shitting on reality shows.

Bryan is now fully vaccinated and is befuddled how no one can agree if masks are or are not still required among the vaccinated populace. Walt believes Covid congregates around the butthole.

The TESD General Store has a journal which documents the day to day activities. Most days just involve watching 70s TV with Git’em. Walt asks Git’em if he thinks he is past his prime, Git’em maintains he hasn’t hit his prime yet. Q suggests making a TESD General Store Cameo account where it’s like a grab bag who is on the recording, it could just be Walt or Git’em, you might luck out and get a Bry or a Q. Walt considers recording an emergency Patreon podcast with Git’em for weeks where they don’t have anything: The TESD General Store Old Timey Radio Hour.

The wedding photographer at Bry’s wedding has died suddenly. Is Bry a bad person for not feeling bad after he told him he needed to suck in his gut while shooting him getting dressed for his big day?

Walt mentions a future Bro Side Attractions where Bry, Walt, Frank 5 and their respective ladies are going to the Grand Canyon and invites Q to fly out and meet them there.

Bryan swindled by not being able to get a refund for a cancelled Kids Bop Concert.

Bryan asks Walt if he would be annoyed if when Bry dies he insists in his will that Walt give the Eulogy knowing it would make him uncomfortable? Q thinks Eulogiez would be a great Vinylcast III.

During the recording of Bryan’s appearance on Who are These Podcasts Princess Mitch sprays urine all over him.

A shocking amount of Americans believe they could win a fist fight with a bear.

Walt remembers playing with a taxidermied iguana as a child until it exploded with maggots. Bry invisions a future where he is taxidermied and turns into a real life Oogie Boogie.

Walt get’s wolf called by two older women who tell him he’s got a sweet ass.

#479: Rubber Feet

*Featured image by Tommy Lincoln

Pod Description:

Frank5 day reviewed, Git ‘em reveals a long buried secret, a man wields an unusual weapon against police.Comedy

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Git’em Steve Dave

Frank 5

ReOccuring Segments

Quotes:

“Yo I like your bracelet, I’m like ‘I like your choker.” – Bryan

“There’s more to life than the bottom line.” -Walt

“Now were you wearing Me Undies?” – Walt to Git’em

“If necessary I owuld have taken a bullet for Mrs. 5.” – Git’em

“So you think there’s a Chapman out there that wants to take out Frank 5?” – Walt

“Cue the music if he goes long.” – Walt

“That weekend showed me what a real family should be like.” – Frank 5

“Show up for five minutes, take a picture, then leave!” – Walt

“For that one day Red Bank became TESD Town.” – Frank 5

“You’re just as creepy as Ming now.” – Walt to Frank

“Edgar did offer me a cock sock in the shape of an elephant.” – Bry

“Sisterhood of the traveling panties.” – Git’em

Memorable Moments:

Frank 5 day is recapped. It was a huge party and Q was in for the long haul at both the Dublin House after party and the TESD Puppet Theater screening which was organized by The Curator. Git’em says the bouncer was giving a drunken Q the stink eye. Walt goes all out with signed lithographs and enamel pins for the day but neglects to keep a pin aside for the museum. Frank 5 thanks everyone for making the day special and for the signed pictures of Tim Conway and Carol Burnett that some Ants brought him.

Bryan reveals that Ming offered to give Maribeth a food rub that day and asks if it is weird that he’d be mad if it was anybody else but laughs because it was Ming. Walt says it is creepy and why Ming wouldn’t offer to rub Git’em’s feet since he could actually use it.

Maribeth’s mom offered to give her some hand me down lingerie when she didn’t get what she wanted out of it. Bryan says he would never be able to see her in it without thinking now of her mom.

Git’em recalls growing up with a lesbian mom joking with her about both liking the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue and the time he heard her in the throws of passion with her gym teacher lover.

A drunken man assaults police officers with his colostomy bag.

Bill Gates is getting divorced and now Walt wonders if the richest men in the world can’t make it work with their partners what hope does the normal man have.

Git’em caught in his undies by a female staffer while changing for a Patreon shoot.

A Johnson family ‘Girls Day’ leads Bryan’s nephew Hunter to request a guy’s night at a strip club. Bry thinks he owes it to the audience to make it happen and take Edgar.

#478: The Spy Who F&@ked Me

*Featured image by 

Pod Description:

Pet names, Sasquatch, fat news.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Troy

ReOccuring Segments

Fat News – Bry puts on 40 lbs since June and is wincing at old re-runs of Comic Book Men.

Quotes:

“Pe or Pi Pu Shi Pe Pow She Pi Pu, don’t try that Ming shit.” – Walt and Q

“Big ol’ hairy tits.” – Bry

“Everybody listening to this probably knew that ten minutes ago!” -Walt

“It’s going to be weird when my circle starts dying… I’m not looking at you for any reason.” – Q to Bryan

“When tranny tricking is your second worst offense.” – Bryan

“All’s fair in love and war but you draw the line at the old T-Trick” – Q

“That Bigfoot is stacked” – Walt

“She changed her name to Johnson and the demands are coming. She’s fighting with Edgar on the front lawn.” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Shock G from the Digital Underground dies. Frank 5 is distraught as he grew up doing the Humpty Dance.

Walt saw an article a 116 year old person who died just after their last birthday.

Q recalls a Russian woman who claimed to be the world’s oldest who only has had one happy day in her entire 129 year long life.

Q has been texting with Kevin more after the 3 part cross over with SmodCast.

Walt brings in the tale of Shi Peipu, a male Chinese spy and opera singer who posed as female and held a 15 year long affair with French Ambassador Bernard Boursicot who claims to have had no idea. Walt wonders why China just didn’t use a female spy. Git’em says they made a play about this story called M. Butterfly. Q announces it is no longer PC to use the phrase ‘Tranny Trick”. Walt thinks the art of seduction should never be used in espionage any way.

Walt is looking for a new Zippo connection after the last one fell through.

A new Hulu miniseries about the murder of three men teases that a Sasquatch might be the culprit. The Patterson footage is called into question. Is the subject of the famous video a female? Q has been watching Serial Killer documentaries such as Gacy on Peacock and Night Stalker on Netflix. He believes Night Stalker to be the worst killer in history. Bry talks about how Richard Speck got hormone treatments and was having the time of his life in prison. They get Troy on the line to talk about the Detective job.

Walt can not abide wearing jeans which he equates to a straight jacket around his waist.

#477: BTS 4 Eva!

*Featured image by Darren Darrionettes

Pod Description:

Knock out vs diarrhea, teaching birds to sing, what kind of puppet are YOU?

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Well anything is more interesting than teaching a bird how to sing. You just look like a real tool doing that in your house.” – Walt

“I just crapped my pants.” – Bry

“Why am I gonna waste this week being positive when it’s only going to go back to the negative.” – Bry

“It was almost like he was acquiring a Lego set.” – Walt about Git’em getting his shot.

“I’m sure they’ll be happy to answer a non-boner related question.” – Q

“I thought you were a Bufferin man.” – Bry to Walt

“Git’em gets drunk on power more easily than a Natty.” – Walt

“You see me with four beers right now and I’m slurring. This isn’t the BQ you know and love from back in the day. This is a weakened version.” – Q

“Q wants to act Re-re again.” Walt as the other Jokers.

“Podcasting is for losers who couldn’t make it on radio.” – Walt as fictional critic.

“He’s the Solomon Rushdie of Rock and Roll.”- Bry about Gene Simmons

“I was getting pegged by my mistress earlier today and that’s why my asshole is so loose!” – Walt

“I’ve been alone, I’ve never been lonely.” – Bryan

“I would teach an Ant how to sing.” – Walt

“Do you wanna be a puppet who see’s the strings or doesn’t” – Bry quoting Walt

“Ignorance can be fuckin’ awesome.” – Walt

“Watch any episode of Impractical Jokers and watch my dignity die a slow death.” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Q gets his second vaccine. Bry is scheduled for his first. Git’em was super excited to get his first. Walt is on the fence after not having any foreign substance or medically prescribed drugs in his body in decades.

Frank 5 day on May 2 is set to be a much bigger event than Walt anticipated. Git’em has taken on the role of organizer and doorman along with his “Bad Cop” Tommy Lincoln. Two people will be admitted at a pre-determined time as dictated by a ticket they will receive. Each group of two will have 5 minutes to meet and greet with Frank 5 and there will be a huge meeting at The Dublin House where people can gather before and after their time.

Q reveals he was extremely rusty at his first Tenderloin live show after such a long hiatus and was having a panic attack looking at the audience in the eyes. He says in the past he would mix things up by doing the show in different “characters”, like an angry Q or a simpleton Q.

K-Pop fans declare war on Gene Simmons after he says in an interview that like all Boy Bands the fad will fade when the fans grow up and grow out of the craze. Would TESD fans go to the same lengths if someone was bad mouthing podcasters?

Bry asks if you were an elderly man with his missus would you rather be knocked out in a fight in front of her or lose control of your bowels.

An endangered bird loses ability to sing since it has never heard another of it’s kind. People are now trying to teach them themselves. Would Q take on that task as an avid bird lover?

What would Bryan do if he read Maribeth’s journal and found her reflecting on past romances?

Paris Hilton buys an expensive dog bag. Cardi B takes her 2 year old on a 29,000 dollar shopping spree. People should feel free to spend money on things that make them happy, like the TESD Patreon.

#476: Devil Shoes

*Featured image by @AntKoolaid

Pod Description:

Spring break, new outlooks, and Kong vs Godzilla

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“I’m like ‘Is this the fuckin’ Muppets plane back here? This is insane!'” – Q

“She’s earned it, I don’t care how many bottles these mother fuckers break over their heads.” – Bry

“And people are like, ‘Why didn’t you like it? There was a podcaster in it!'” – Walt

“Are you smoking Kev’s weed?” – Q to Walt

“Let’s go find those MFers that stole that wheelchair and knock them out!” – Walt’s daughters

“You know what, maybe Bry’s right.” – Walt after hearing a guy went ballistic that Walt’s family got the last motorized wheelchair at the zoo.

“They were ready to curbstomp those women.” – Walt

“Tinkerbell will be delivering that HDMI cable before a fucking drone does.” – Walt

“On his tombstone, ‘Fuck Bezos’ he said it first.” – Bry about Walt

“That should be the new TESD motto: Maybe they’ll get it right next time.” -Walt

“This new me is getting cucked all over town!” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Walt and his family take a trip to the Cape May Zoo. After previous expeditions where he got quite the work out pushing his mother-in-law around with a wheelchair, Walt sprung for a rental of the motorized variety. At the end of the day when they return to rental they found that their original chair was missing and no one could locate it. Zoo employees believe an angry family took it after realizing that Walt’s family had rented the last one. A Zen Walt promises to buy her her own personal motorized wheelchair. Walt’s family decides that he is losing his testosterone since he was so Zen about the incident and not more angry.

R&H’s Four Color Demons brew has been received with many positive feedback. After talking with Tommy Lincoln Bry has determined that the 4 Color Demons have the most members of any motorcycle club in the world. Q wants to organize the demons with an internal government and different branches to organize more rallies. Walt suggests the Curator as president of the South East Chapter. Bryan suggests TESDGroupie as UK’s head, although Q thinks there might be some grumblings from the hardcore Manchester boys.

BQ retells of shabby treatment on his latest flight after he and his friend were locked out of checking in and were told they would have to re-book online. An agent was able to fix the problem for Q’s friend but refused to do the same for him and walked away swinging her keys as a power move. Q rebooks online and discovers they gave away his business class ticket and he has to sit in the way back where it is as chaotic as the Muppets plane.

Walt goes to a theater to see Godzilla Vs King Kong on the big screen and has never been more disappointed and angry after being let down so much in a film. He claims if he went back in time to 2014 to warn his younger self and Sunday Jeff after seeing the first in the series they would spit in his eye. He apologizes to Q for making fun of his reaction to The Force Awakens.

Walt goes on record to being one of the first to recognize Bezos as evil.

A 40 year old man dies in an amateur taco eating contest. What would Q’s reaction be if he heard his dad went out this way?

Lil Nas X ignites satanic panic for his music video twerking on the devil and releasing his satanic Nikes. Guffaw and Order to cover the 1980s Satanic Panic in a future pod.

#475: King Thong

*Featured image by BSJett

Pod Description:

This week they talk about camping, Three’s Company, shrimp tails and whale tails.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

Sunday Jeff

Quotes:

“My father and I shared a bedroom” – Git’em

“Who’s happy for fish day?” – Bryan

“Can we talk?” – Sunday Jeff as Joan Rivers

“I learned it from you Mom!”- Bry as Git’em trying to stop his Dad’s snoring

“I’m susceptible to nature’s defenses” – Walt

“They might accentuate things.” – Git’em defends his thong.

“Can your silence be bought? Fuck Yeah!” – Walt

“It’s like if you told somebody your birthday was a different day than it was and got people to play along, it would be gaslighting.” – Git’em

“You are definitely on steroids.” – Walt to Sunday Jeff

“Do they even need a lift at Toyota anymore or do they just call you.” – Git’em to Sunday Jeff

“He’s a bit of an asshole isn’t he.” – Bry about God.

Memorable Moments:

Q is absent as he is taking a vacation. Walt claims Sunday Jeff is the Joan Rivers to Q’s Johnny Carson as a permanent sit in.

Git’em and his father once shared a one bedroom apartment. He would try to get his father to stop snoring by pinching his nose shut.

Bryan suggests the Sunday Jeff Show do an episode where they all go camping. Everyone seems on board. Sunday Jeff went camping at Lake Ontario once where he was recognized by a random forest hillbilly. Walt insists some Deliverance scene was about to take place. Git’em owns a hammock tent which leads Walt to ask about banana hammocks. Git’em admits he once bought one on clearance at Target.

Former SmodCo host Jensen Karp, who was responsible for the first late TESD drop, has gotten his 15 minutes of fame from finding shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jensen is an example of a Milk Shake Duck when past girlfriends come forward claiming he was manipulative and abusive.

Other instances of horrific food finds include a lady who found a finger in her Wendy’s chili and a penis in the soup.

Walt is taught the meaning of the phrase “Gaslighting”.

Sunday Jeff is getting ripped and shares his work out routine. He sadly reflects he is not a vascular guy and doesn’t have popping veins.

Bryan asks Twitter who they prefer of the two landlords on Three’s Company Roper or Furley. This leads to a discussion of spin-offs of successful sitcoms where the person leaves a good thing to gamble on their own star power.

A hypothetical of who Sunday Jeff would confide in if he could talk to dead people. This leads to a discussion of the afterlife and the guy’s religious beliefs. Is permanent death when the last person who remembers you dies? Comic Book Men reruns on Pluto TV might be the key to immortality.

Frank 5 Day is looking to be much bigger than Walt expected with lots of special guests stopping by. Walt pleads the ants to keep low expectations.

Walt is likewise maintaining low expectations for Kong vs Godzilla.