Category: Episode

Featured Image by Eric Mason

Description:

Bry has an idea for a YouTube channel, online dilemmas, portrait follow-up.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Space Monkeys

Quotes:

“When did ‘Fuck It’ become such a bad thing?” – Bryan

“Stay out of that pool, bruh!” – Quinn

Memorable Moments:

Last week Walt sick, this week he’s tripping down to Smithville.

10 killer minutes of content lost due to speaking into the wrong mic as Q’s microphone was not recording.

Was Comic Book Men cancelled or just not renewed? Bryan admits he misses it.

Q and Bry would rather do anything other than be a prof like Frank 5 and have to deal with the current generation.

Bryan used to be really into recycling and doing things the right way but then see’s states like Ohio that don’t enforce it and don’t have recycling centers and wonders if his efforts even matter. Q says the only way to stop plastic waste is to stop all plastic manufacturing.

Bry lifts his household ban on Aldi’s due to their delicious Iced Tea.

Q tries to comfort Bryan that no one is going to loop him in with the evil middle aged white men on the internet.

Bryan Maxwell texts Quinn with a picture of him and an ALF shirt.

Bryan names himself “Moron of the Week” and reveals the second part of the Portrait saga. Bryan and Maribeth go to get it done and Bry is surprised that they say it is done after only 20 minutes. Then the photos are projected up on the wall to select which one they want to get painted and Bryan hates looking at pictures of himself. They then get quoted $6,100 for the painting. It turns out that Maribeth only won a voucher for 2500 off or the smallest size portrait there is for free. Maribeth spends her parent’s Christmas money to get the nice one.

Quinn visits his parents at the Villages in Florida and admires the party atmosphere and early bed time. He has a great time at a firing range.

During an ad for Green Chef Bryan mentions being disgusted by a dish Maribeth made with Tuna and Noodles. Q suggests they spend some time apart in the house. Make his basement the He Man Woman Haters Club.

Ming goes to an average of 60 cons a year. There is a 10 hour minimum you need to be at a con in Dubai. Bryan wouldn’t dare break a rule there, imagines himself hanging over the arena with Ming watching and eating popcorn.

Bryan comes up with an idea for a new YouTube Channel. Recently the power went out at his house in a storm and he burst into Sage’s room to spook her instead to be met with stark terror. Should the YouTube channel be dedicated to scaring special needs kids or the elderly like Pam.

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Description:

Thanksgiving attire, when does the honeymoon stage end, Bry refrains from entering an argument. Sponsor: ter.li/AmericanMusicalSupply-TESD

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Game

Quotes:

“That’s what I should be thankful for? That my wife isn’t risking my life for no reason?” – Bryan about the life threatening tater tots.

“I’d be upfront, like I’d be like “look, maybe you’re noticing my hands, it’s because I’m going to live until I am 190 at least, and the tradeoff is scaly hands. I’ve got to inject it with tortoise DNA”. -Quinn

“He’ll put on that coach uniform and prance around?” – Quinn

“On all their flags it just says ‘Why Bother'” – Bryan

“Chill is not the word I’d use to describe him” – Quinn on Darin

Memorable Moments:

Black Friday merch still available at the time of this recording.

Maribeth posted a picture of Johnson Thanksgiving and Darin was catching flak online for his attire of tank top and sunglasses on his head.

Bryan proud he didn’t argue with Pam when she erroneously insists she saw “The Fog” in black and white when it’s never been filmed or shown that way. Pam’s posture has become troll-like.

Kanye takes a stand on the side of Hitler. Walt wonders how you can ever get sponsors again and compares him to a hacky Yoko Ono after looking him up and seeing him on SNL. Taylor Swift fans swamp the Kanye reddit to support the Jewish community.

People are being much ruder to Sunday Jeff at his other job these days, Walt posits it could be the rise of anti-Semitism.

Bryan gets annoyed at a self-righteous “Do Better” bumper sticker. Quinn suggests releasing a “Do Bitter” sticker.

Walt checks in with Quinn to see if he was boozing it up on Thanksgiving. Q says his days of drinking to excess are over. Walt imagines a drunken Q screaming at Sunday Jeff for high prices.

Walt traveled to NYC to see the Rockettes, falls asleep multiple times.

Bryan wonders when you know the honeymoon phase is over when broken glass ends up in his Crispy Crowns.

Bryan longs for the days of the crooked house over the ordeals he deals with as a home owner now.

Christmas episode coming out December 15 on Patreon and Band Camp. Walt says the expectations are always so high.

Johnathan the Tortoise is the oldest living land animal at 190 years old. Walt asks if the guys would inject Tortoise DNA collected by Git’em to live longer, even if his hands and feet turn scaly? What if Maribeth took it to stay young but then could only speak at a turtle’s pace?

In Little House on the Prairie news, Bryan is convinced Nellie Olson is a sociopath.

Featured Image by TESD Town

Description:

Post-Thanksgiving wrap up, Bry spends a day Blue Octobering, unusual after-school clubs.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Frank 5

Game

Quotes:

“Just run me over, go ahead, I know you want to!” – Walt

“You got Alex like ‘wake up ese!'” -Bryan to Walt

“I just feel so sorry for Edgar.” – Walt

“Bry looks bored, let’s argue.” – Walt as Pam

“If Pam was a guy, she’d be Mike Zapcic. She can’t take it.” – Bryan

“Your homophobic jokes would make anybody feel better.” – Walt to Bryan about saving lives like Blue October

Memorable Moments:

Bryan mentions Walt might be low energy this episode. Walt says it’s due to two days of tryptophan laden turkey.

Frank #5 had a traditional Thanksgiving (that he actually attended) with kids running around and many tables.

Maribeth hosted the Johnson holiday this year and made food for about 18 people when they only were hosting 8. No one would take leftovers. Pam gets giddy on prosecco and gets in an argument with Bry’s sister about her not getting to pick what color to paint her bedroom as a kid. Pam won’t stay out of the kitchen while Maribeth is trying to prepare food. After 6 hours Edgar is ready to leave but Pam wants to party more. Instead of one of the kids driving Edgar home so Pam can stay later it devolves into passive aggressive comments and Pam making herself a martyr leaving early. Edgar is in need of a cochlear implant, should he be the beneficiary of Cochlear pod 3? He used to wear hearing aids when Bry was younger but Bryan has no recollection of this.

Bryan reveals that instead of being a Frank 5 episode it was almost a Blue October episode as they were recently in town and Maribeth, a fan of the group, reached out for a potential interview but it fell through due to a late tour bus. Bry recounts his anniversary present to Maribeth which was tickets to the show and a meet and greet. Bryan remarks how fandoms are all similar with fans of Blue October telling them that their music saved them the same way ants say the same to them.

Alex sends Bryan an article about a Californian after school Satan club. The Satanic Temple started a club to teach free thinking and individualism.

Walt urges Frank #5 to get into the Christmas spirit and get Mary a really good gift this year. Walt puts a VR football game on his list.

Bryan mentions watching you tube series about dead malls and stores of America. Walt asks what dead restaurant everyone would bring back and then chastises Frank for his choice of Howard Johnsons. Walt wants to bring back the Sizzler.

Bryan headed to Orlando and asking for suggestions of cool things to do that aren’t the major theme parks.

Featured Image by Eric Mason

Description:

Bry, Walt, & Q talk concerts, thanksgiving, and Brady. Sponsor: ter.li/AmericanMusicalSupply-TESD

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Game

Quotes:

“Sunday Jeff laughed too!!!!”

“And now I’m like, I eat a piece of turkey and I’m like, what happened, what changed?” – Walt

“Hey what was that girl like the other night? Pretty hot, but her asshole, slick turkey, all the way.” – Bryan

“Do wines be dated” – Walt

“Rock stars flame out!” – Walt

“What do you think you’re watching, what do you think we’re in the middle of” – Quinn

“She’s under more pressure than the San Andreas fault.” – Bryan

“Me and Daddy like dark meat!” – Pam

“I love spending money, my bestie loves spending money. Dada hates spending money.” – Sage

Memorable Moments:

Walt makes Q promise not to drink on Thanksgiving or Black Friday seeing as he is still processing the loss of Benjamin Cat. Quinn has been working hard on several projects including a new tour with Sal and Murr which has not gave him much time to think.

As he ages Walt is finding he does not enjoy the taste of turkey as once he did. Q suggests smoking the turkey or using beer as the old turkey lubricant. Walt says you don’t see much turkey in fast food places leading Quinn to propose opening their own chain, Turkeyz with a Z.

Maribeth is hosting Thanksgiving for the first time and is trying hard to impress with many festive decorations that Walt thinks will just go unnoticed by most of the male relatives. Quinn suggests sneaking in a sexy turkey with big breasts among the decorations. Walt asks Bryan to make Pam, Maribeth and Tracy to not drink on Thanksgiving like Q.

Sage and Maribeth have been thinking of starting a twitch channel.

New Black Friday Merch is announced.

Git’em is known to sleep 40 hours straight on his two days off, going into a coma like hibernation.

Walt and Bryan have a boys night out to see WASP. Listening to the songs he used to 40 years ago makes Walt nostalgic thinking about his teenage hopes and aspirations, and seeing that he managed to achieve the good family and job he likes. Walt believes Blackie Lawless might have been lip syncing.

Us listeners miss out on some riveting Texas Roadhouse conversation when some of the recording is lost. Declan does not cut out the production meeting as instructed.

Quinn saw an odd bumper sticker while driving in Manhattan today “One kind of protection is unfeasibility of sin.” What does it mean.

Walt also saw something odd in the wild at the Englishtown Auction. Some guy was wearing a very X-rated shirt. Q recalls seeing a guy wearing a shirt that sad “Sorry boys, I eat pussy.”

Giselle is already dating her Jujitsu instructor. Was something going on before the divorce? Walt believed Tom and Giselle were like Jim and Pam. Bryan expresses his disgust for Jim and how he thinks he is better than everyone else at The Office. Walt claims that’s exactly like how they treat Git’em, who is the Dwight of the General Store.

Featured Image by Eric Mason

Description:

Bry, Walt, and Q send Git Em back in time. Halloween Ends.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

Mentioned Person

Game

Quotes:

“Ben Franklin, he’s like a rascal.” – Q

“You knew what you were getting when you tuned in.” – Bryan

“I didn’t think you cared about one dollar bills anymore.”- Walt to Q

“They might burn him at the stake.” – Q about Git’em

“Git’em sometimes plays with people like a cat plays with a mouse, but with intellect.” – Walt

“Safety Always, Git’em Steve Dave. That’s how he signs the Declaration of Independence.” – Walt

“You didn’t invent shit, you read a textbook based on the work of this guy, went back in time and used his own knowledge to steal his life away from him.”- Q

“I stood on the shoulders of giants and became even gianter.” – Git’em

“I’m not below subjugating myself to horrible conditions.” – Git’em

“It’s all about the Git’ems baby!” – Git’em on the 100 dollar bill

Memorable Moments:

Ranker.com lists TESD the funniest podcast in the land. The metrics of how that is decided remains unknown. Other rankings include “Artist with best 2022 record release” and “Greatest Founding Father”.

The guys begin discussing the founding fathers. Walt contends maybe they weren’t so great, “they weren’t so enlightened”, and that Ben Franklin could have just been a regular guy at the bar, “go Eagles”. Walt tries to figure out who is the great thinker of our age. Who would benefit more, Franklin coming to our age or Git’em going back to revolutionary time? Walt thinks Git’em would thrive back then from watching the show “Forged in Fire”.

After online response to his Tom vs Giselle discussion, Walt walks back his comments saying he was coming from an emotional spot and that of course divorce doesn’t ruin a family.

MeUndies ad spot tells the story of Jeff who doesn’t know the difference between wearing MeUndies and nothing at all much to his room mates chagrin.

Git’em arrives to chime in on his time displacement scenario and how he would wow the settlers with his knowledge of tungsten and chromium and cast aspersions on Franklin. He then goes on say how he’d coopt famous novels and release them as himself.

Bryan notes how he hasn’t been ragging on political correctness as often but reads that a law firm won’t hire Yale students due as a reaction to cancel culture.

Bryan blown away by Halloween Ends shittiness.

Q couldn’t get through The Munsters. Jimmy the Hair Guy liked it.

Walt was disappointed in Werewolf By Night because they didn’t portray the character of Jack Russel. Walt says She-Hulk did end on a good note by mimicking the original 1970s Hulk opening. Walt claims Charlie Cox as one of his three bros alongside Jim Halpert and Tom Brady.