#484: Cruzin’ 4 Male Tail

*Featured image by @mayowulff

Pod Description:

Radio serials, lawyers, water pills, the bar for ugly.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments


“Animals don’t have a hat. An animal doesn’t have sun screen.” – Walt

“Oh no, no I wasn’t looking for dick.” – Bry

“Yeah you’re kinda like in your birthday suit floating around in your mother’s womb gettin’ busy!” – Walt

“What makes them better than you? You don’t see a lizard wearing a hat!” – Bry

“How many times do I need to watch these two Lame-os fight about whether he’s Spider-Man or not?” – Q

“I want to be able to publish my own version of Mickey Mouse. I was told that when I was born that was my right if I live long enough.” – Walt

“That’s my mutant power. That’s what I do. It’s always someone else’s fault.” – Q

“We;d like to submit the ‘No Homo’ defense your honor.” – Q

“Oh hello, what are you doing here. You look just like me.” – Bry living out his in utero fantasy.

“How many times do you got to do missionary style before you’re like ‘here take this gun go in the alley and mug me on the way home.'” – Q

Memorable Moments:

High temperatures while recording compounded with difficulty setting up the audio board make for a frustrating time.

The Middletown Art Center is hosting a night of actors recreating 100 year old radio serials including Fibber McGee and Blondie and Dagwood. Walt suggests licensing out TESD for live dinner theater. This leads to a discussion on what makes a newspaper comic strip survive the test of time and why the Art Center thinks this will be a big event. Walt suggests it’s only because of the public domain.

Walt has been drinking more water to try and acclimate himself for the trip to the Grand Canyon. Several ants have voiced concern for the guys safety.

Walt believes the public domain laws are going to be rewritten to keep precious IPs in the hands of big companies. He wants to be able to make a version of Mickey Mouse who was a test subject and is now taking revenge on the society that experimented on him. Will TESD ever be public domain?

There is a petition to deny Jeff Bezos permission to re-enter Earth. People are likening him to Lex Luthor.

A lawyer has contacted Walt about getting rights to Cryptozoic Man back. This leads to a discussion of lawyers and if their love of the law outweighs the love of victims rights. How can a lawyer separate themselves from the crimes their client commits and do they feel guilty if they reoffend after being let off. Bry discusses how the defense lawyer of the guys who carjacked him tried to disparage him by claiming he was in that neighborhood cruising for a gay hookup.

After the discussion in the previous episode about the Kink parades Bryan researches several bizarre fetishes such as one for sexual acts under water which Walt claims must link back to peoples memories in utero. Other fetishes include quicksand, face farting, violent crimes, and using people as furniture.

Walt suggests taking water pills to stay hydrated out west while note being bogged down by water. Further research shows that water pills are in fact to remove excess water so would be the worst thing to take.

Will the Elephant Man always be the bar for ugly? Has Bryan ever been someone’s example of ugly?

Walt reads a series of quotes to get the reactions from Bry and Q. “A woman’s loyalty is tested when a man has nothing. A man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything.”

“Actions prove who someone is, words just prove who they want to be”

“When all your wishes are granted, a lot of your dreams are destroyed.”

#483: A Joy Ride in Space

*Featured image by Nicky Branco

Pod Description:

Neighborhood patrols, ‘raunchy’ parades, advertisers, serial killers, Jeff Bezos and stoned lobsters


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

ReOccuring Segments

Hitlearn something new: Does a pair of sneakers resemble Adolf?


“Q, I noticed your boner’s in full bloom.” -Bry

“Fuckin’ no cameras while we’re drinking baby blood.” – Walt

“You think there’s something as a just king?” – Q

“I diagnose you with Gay.” – Bry to a rollerblading Walt

“Give me his numbah.” – Q

“Are they talking about BJs being performed on the parade float? Too much.” – Walt

“Nesting dolls of shame.” – Bry

“A tree dying is like a cock that can’t get hard.” – Walt

“You can’t just show up in a barbage bag and expect this dick to fuckin’ salute! I don’t care how much blue chew is in there.” – Q

“I found the funnier they are the less chance we get paid.” – Bry about advertisers.

“I want to dangle by my fuckin’ fingertips off a side of a mountain.” – Walt

“She’s clowning you, dog.” – Q to Bry

“You guys would be soaking wet and I’d be dry as a pickle.” – Walt

“Civilization has made us soft, wet pussies.” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

Q is all scarred up from poison ivy on the face, arm and legs. He has been doing his own gardening like the common man. Q pulls the post from Twitter after receiving too much sympathy and concern. Walt gives Q the same remedy he once gave his daughter, go jump in the river. Walt tells of a time he had to go to the Emergency Room with Poison Ivy that gave him swelling down below. Walt is allergic to all poison plants, even the dreaded poison apple.

A Pride parade is scheduled at Riverside Park in Red Bank. What sort of kink and public displays would be tolerated? Walt suggests BJs allowed as long as the guy keeps his mouth on it the whole time so you never see phallus. Karens at a California hotel berate a couple sharing a same sex kiss.

Q hits NYC for a night of partying for the first time since COVID. Jiggy gets punched in the face for no reason. Q says its like Sodom and Gomorrah.

Would Q ever join a neighborhood watch? Walt suggests he can pretend to be bird watching but really keeping tabs on the town. A young Walt was aggressively scouted to join the neighborhood watch, he says it was like a Frankenstein mob. Walt used to believe this guy would let Walt’s dog out until he observed the dog opening the gate on it’s own.

Blue Chew ad has Walt ask questions about how fast acting the drug is and what if you pop too early at a restaurant.

Bryan asks Walt what he would do if he decided to reconnect with his father but found out he was imprisoned for being a serial killer. Would he be more likely to sit down to talk to him or less. Bry thinks Edgar could have several bodies hidden under numerous construction sites.

Jeff Bezos is going to space. People mock his rocket for looking too much like a dick. Walt chides him for putting a crew at risk for his joy ride.

The guys’ road trip to the Grand Canyon is ready to set off. Walt buys new hiking sneakers. Debbie Flanagan questions Bryan’s stamina. Walt considering getting a hoverboard to help him traverse the canyon. Bryan is turned into a pack mule for the hike and is in charge of protection.

Git’em maintains that birds are immune to spicy food.

#482: In Praise of a Bear Girl

*Featured image by @MattTesd

Pod Description:

Man-eating birds, skin cancer, overthinking, and Hitlearning.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

ReOccuring Segments

Hitlearn Something New: Two Dutch sisters hunt Nazis and Groucho Marx dances the Charleston where Hitler died.


“It’s an indictment on science and I don’t give a fuck!” – Walt

“I hit-learned something.” – Q

“That semen becomes weak and just kinda bump into each other like Three Stooges.” – Walt

“He fuckin’ contemplated his relationship with his dad, saw there was nothing there and he got upset about it? How weird is that?” – Q

“Oh you got daddy issues? Get in line!” – Walt

“If your own parents don’t love you, what chance do I have? – Bry

“Yeah isn’t it great that level of regret. Like I fucked up!” – Bry

“You don’t even know what would be in that shack, whether it’s food or a deranged seaman.” – Walt

“I trust this science because they’re payin’ us.” -Walt

“As soon as they stop paying us, they go on the Faucci pile.” – Bry

“If an hourglass figure can be masculine he has it.” – Walt about Git’em

“Git’em has it easy compared to what Bubbles had to endure.” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

According to Screen Rant Batman is a billionaire aristocrat that goes around beating up poor people. Q says his money is a mere plot device to explain where he gets all his gadgets and not a political commentary.

Walt has been in a funk a few weeks ago after realizing he never had a relationship with his dad. For two weeks it just hit him hard and then he came to terms with it but is left wondering why it took 50 years for it to be an issue. This leads Q to ask if Walt has ever thought about therapy and says how much it has helped him. A therapist tells Bryan that he dates needy people just to prove to himself that he is worthy of love due to his relationships with his parents.

Could this contemplative period be due to Walt’s youngest daughter graduating High School? Is his relationship with his father why Walt has a hard time opening up to people and hearing “I Love You” from men?

Walt is aghast at Bryan going to a weird sea food shack and risking mercury poisoning. Bry sees a 9 pound lobster and wants to set it free. Q claims that lobsters can be biologically immortal.

Bryan witnesses a seagull pluck a fish out of the sea and imagines how life would be different if birds were big enough to do that to man.

Calling back to an earlier discussion, footage came out of a woman fighting off a bear to protect her dogs.

Would people blow up Mount Everest to protect people from climbing it and dying?

Walt believes in Git’em and his dream of fathering children one day but he needs to hurry up as his sperms are getting old and senile. Walt compares Git’em’s missing teeth to Michael Strahan’s gap. It is revealed Git’em has not shaved his beard since his fire.

Q gives a recap of the after hours Graceland tour he took with his parents. Bry asks if Neverland will ever get the same reverent treatment. Bubbles the chimp is enjoying retirement.

#479: Rubber Feet

*Featured image by Tommy Lincoln

Pod Description:

Frank5 day reviewed, Git ‘em reveals a long buried secret, a man wields an unusual weapon against police.Comedy


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Git’em Steve Dave

Frank 5

ReOccuring Segments


“Yo I like your bracelet, I’m like ‘I like your choker.” – Bryan

“There’s more to life than the bottom line.” -Walt

“Now were you wearing Me Undies?” – Walt to Git’em

“If necessary I owuld have taken a bullet for Mrs. 5.” – Git’em

“So you think there’s a Chapman out there that wants to take out Frank 5?” – Walt

“Cue the music if he goes long.” – Walt

“That weekend showed me what a real family should be like.” – Frank 5

“Show up for five minutes, take a picture, then leave!” – Walt

“For that one day Red Bank became TESD Town.” – Frank 5

“You’re just as creepy as Ming now.” – Walt to Frank

“Edgar did offer me a cock sock in the shape of an elephant.” – Bry

“Sisterhood of the traveling panties.” – Git’em

Memorable Moments:

Frank 5 day is recapped. It was a huge party and Q was in for the long haul at both the Dublin House after party and the TESD Puppet Theater screening which was organized by The Curator. Git’em says the bouncer was giving a drunken Q the stink eye. Walt goes all out with signed lithographs and enamel pins for the day but neglects to keep a pin aside for the museum. Frank 5 thanks everyone for making the day special and for the signed pictures of Tim Conway and Carol Burnett that some Ants brought him.

Bryan reveals that Ming offered to give Maribeth a food rub that day and asks if it is weird that he’d be mad if it was anybody else but laughs because it was Ming. Walt says it is creepy and why Ming wouldn’t offer to rub Git’em’s feet since he could actually use it.

Maribeth’s mom offered to give her some hand me down lingerie when she didn’t get what she wanted out of it. Bryan says he would never be able to see her in it without thinking now of her mom.

Git’em recalls growing up with a lesbian mom joking with her about both liking the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue and the time he heard her in the throws of passion with her gym teacher lover.

A drunken man assaults police officers with his colostomy bag.

Bill Gates is getting divorced and now Walt wonders if the richest men in the world can’t make it work with their partners what hope does the normal man have.

Git’em caught in his undies by a female staffer while changing for a Patreon shoot.

A Johnson family ‘Girls Day’ leads Bryan’s nephew Hunter to request a guy’s night at a strip club. Bry thinks he owes it to the audience to make it happen and take Edgar.

#478: The Spy Who F&@ked Me

*Featured image by 

Pod Description:

Pet names, Sasquatch, fat news.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn


ReOccuring Segments

Fat News – Bry puts on 40 lbs since June and is wincing at old re-runs of Comic Book Men.


“Pe or Pi Pu Shi Pe Pow She Pi Pu, don’t try that Ming shit.” – Walt and Q

“Big ol’ hairy tits.” – Bry

“Everybody listening to this probably knew that ten minutes ago!” -Walt

“It’s going to be weird when my circle starts dying… I’m not looking at you for any reason.” – Q to Bryan

“When tranny tricking is your second worst offense.” – Bryan

“All’s fair in love and war but you draw the line at the old T-Trick” – Q

“That Bigfoot is stacked” – Walt

“She changed her name to Johnson and the demands are coming. She’s fighting with Edgar on the front lawn.” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Shock G from the Digital Underground dies. Frank 5 is distraught as he grew up doing the Humpty Dance.

Walt saw an article a 116 year old person who died just after their last birthday.

Q recalls a Russian woman who claimed to be the world’s oldest who only has had one happy day in her entire 129 year long life.

Q has been texting with Kevin more after the 3 part cross over with SmodCast.

Walt brings in the tale of Shi Peipu, a male Chinese spy and opera singer who posed as female and held a 15 year long affair with French Ambassador Bernard Boursicot who claims to have had no idea. Walt wonders why China just didn’t use a female spy. Git’em says they made a play about this story called M. Butterfly. Q announces it is no longer PC to use the phrase ‘Tranny Trick”. Walt thinks the art of seduction should never be used in espionage any way.

Walt is looking for a new Zippo connection after the last one fell through.

A new Hulu miniseries about the murder of three men teases that a Sasquatch might be the culprit. The Patterson footage is called into question. Is the subject of the famous video a female? Q has been watching Serial Killer documentaries such as Gacy on Peacock and Night Stalker on Netflix. He believes Night Stalker to be the worst killer in history. Bry talks about how Richard Speck got hormone treatments and was having the time of his life in prison. They get Troy on the line to talk about the Detective job.

Walt can not abide wearing jeans which he equates to a straight jacket around his waist.

#477: BTS 4 Eva!

*Featured image by Darren Darrionettes

Pod Description:

Knock out vs diarrhea, teaching birds to sing, what kind of puppet are YOU?


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn


“Well anything is more interesting than teaching a bird how to sing. You just look like a real tool doing that in your house.” – Walt

“I just crapped my pants.” – Bry

“Why am I gonna waste this week being positive when it’s only going to go back to the negative.” – Bry

“It was almost like he was acquiring a Lego set.” – Walt about Git’em getting his shot.

“I’m sure they’ll be happy to answer a non-boner related question.” – Q

“I thought you were a Bufferin man.” – Bry to Walt

“Git’em gets drunk on power more easily than a Natty.” – Walt

“You see me with four beers right now and I’m slurring. This isn’t the BQ you know and love from back in the day. This is a weakened version.” – Q

“Q wants to act Re-re again.” Walt as the other Jokers.

“Podcasting is for losers who couldn’t make it on radio.” – Walt as fictional critic.

“He’s the Solomon Rushdie of Rock and Roll.”- Bry about Gene Simmons

“I was getting pegged by my mistress earlier today and that’s why my asshole is so loose!” – Walt

“I’ve been alone, I’ve never been lonely.” – Bryan

“I would teach an Ant how to sing.” – Walt

“Do you wanna be a puppet who see’s the strings or doesn’t” – Bry quoting Walt

“Ignorance can be fuckin’ awesome.” – Walt

“Watch any episode of Impractical Jokers and watch my dignity die a slow death.” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Q gets his second vaccine. Bry is scheduled for his first. Git’em was super excited to get his first. Walt is on the fence after not having any foreign substance or medically prescribed drugs in his body in decades.

Frank 5 day on May 2 is set to be a much bigger event than Walt anticipated. Git’em has taken on the role of organizer and doorman along with his “Bad Cop” Tommy Lincoln. Two people will be admitted at a pre-determined time as dictated by a ticket they will receive. Each group of two will have 5 minutes to meet and greet with Frank 5 and there will be a huge meeting at The Dublin House where people can gather before and after their time.

Q reveals he was extremely rusty at his first Tenderloin live show after such a long hiatus and was having a panic attack looking at the audience in the eyes. He says in the past he would mix things up by doing the show in different “characters”, like an angry Q or a simpleton Q.

K-Pop fans declare war on Gene Simmons after he says in an interview that like all Boy Bands the fad will fade when the fans grow up and grow out of the craze. Would TESD fans go to the same lengths if someone was bad mouthing podcasters?

Bry asks if you were an elderly man with his missus would you rather be knocked out in a fight in front of her or lose control of your bowels.

An endangered bird loses ability to sing since it has never heard another of it’s kind. People are now trying to teach them themselves. Would Q take on that task as an avid bird lover?

What would Bryan do if he read Maribeth’s journal and found her reflecting on past romances?

Paris Hilton buys an expensive dog bag. Cardi B takes her 2 year old on a 29,000 dollar shopping spree. People should feel free to spend money on things that make them happy, like the TESD Patreon.

#476: Devil Shoes

*Featured image by @AntKoolaid

Pod Description:

Spring break, new outlooks, and Kong vs Godzilla


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn


“I’m like ‘Is this the fuckin’ Muppets plane back here? This is insane!'” – Q

“She’s earned it, I don’t care how many bottles these mother fuckers break over their heads.” – Bry

“And people are like, ‘Why didn’t you like it? There was a podcaster in it!'” – Walt

“Are you smoking Kev’s weed?” – Q to Walt

“Let’s go find those MFers that stole that wheelchair and knock them out!” – Walt’s daughters

“You know what, maybe Bry’s right.” – Walt after hearing a guy went ballistic that Walt’s family got the last motorized wheelchair at the zoo.

“They were ready to curbstomp those women.” – Walt

“Tinkerbell will be delivering that HDMI cable before a fucking drone does.” – Walt

“On his tombstone, ‘Fuck Bezos’ he said it first.” – Bry about Walt

“That should be the new TESD motto: Maybe they’ll get it right next time.” -Walt

“This new me is getting cucked all over town!” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Walt and his family take a trip to the Cape May Zoo. After previous expeditions where he got quite the work out pushing his mother-in-law around with a wheelchair, Walt sprung for a rental of the motorized variety. At the end of the day when they return to rental they found that their original chair was missing and no one could locate it. Zoo employees believe an angry family took it after realizing that Walt’s family had rented the last one. A Zen Walt promises to buy her her own personal motorized wheelchair. Walt’s family decides that he is losing his testosterone since he was so Zen about the incident and not more angry.

R&H’s Four Color Demons brew has been received with many positive feedback. After talking with Tommy Lincoln Bry has determined that the 4 Color Demons have the most members of any motorcycle club in the world. Q wants to organize the demons with an internal government and different branches to organize more rallies. Walt suggests the Curator as president of the South East Chapter. Bryan suggests TESDGroupie as UK’s head, although Q thinks there might be some grumblings from the hardcore Manchester boys.

BQ retells of shabby treatment on his latest flight after he and his friend were locked out of checking in and were told they would have to re-book online. An agent was able to fix the problem for Q’s friend but refused to do the same for him and walked away swinging her keys as a power move. Q rebooks online and discovers they gave away his business class ticket and he has to sit in the way back where it is as chaotic as the Muppets plane.

Walt goes to a theater to see Godzilla Vs King Kong on the big screen and has never been more disappointed and angry after being let down so much in a film. He claims if he went back in time to 2014 to warn his younger self and Sunday Jeff after seeing the first in the series they would spit in his eye. He apologizes to Q for making fun of his reaction to The Force Awakens.

Walt goes on record to being one of the first to recognize Bezos as evil.

A 40 year old man dies in an amateur taco eating contest. What would Q’s reaction be if he heard his dad went out this way?

Lil Nas X ignites satanic panic for his music video twerking on the devil and releasing his satanic Nikes. Guffaw and Order to cover the 1980s Satanic Panic in a future pod.

#475: King Thong

*Featured image by BSJett

Pod Description:

This week they talk about camping, Three’s Company, shrimp tails and whale tails.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

Sunday Jeff


“My father and I shared a bedroom” – Git’em

“Who’s happy for fish day?” – Bryan

“Can we talk?” – Sunday Jeff as Joan Rivers

“I learned it from you Mom!”- Bry as Git’em trying to stop his Dad’s snoring

“I’m susceptible to nature’s defenses” – Walt

“They might accentuate things.” – Git’em defends his thong.

“Can your silence be bought? Fuck Yeah!” – Walt

“It’s like if you told somebody your birthday was a different day than it was and got people to play along, it would be gaslighting.” – Git’em

“You are definitely on steroids.” – Walt to Sunday Jeff

“Do they even need a lift at Toyota anymore or do they just call you.” – Git’em to Sunday Jeff

“He’s a bit of an asshole isn’t he.” – Bry about God.

Memorable Moments:

Q is absent as he is taking a vacation. Walt claims Sunday Jeff is the Joan Rivers to Q’s Johnny Carson as a permanent sit in.

Git’em and his father once shared a one bedroom apartment. He would try to get his father to stop snoring by pinching his nose shut.

Bryan suggests the Sunday Jeff Show do an episode where they all go camping. Everyone seems on board. Sunday Jeff went camping at Lake Ontario once where he was recognized by a random forest hillbilly. Walt insists some Deliverance scene was about to take place. Git’em owns a hammock tent which leads Walt to ask about banana hammocks. Git’em admits he once bought one on clearance at Target.

Former SmodCo host Jensen Karp, who was responsible for the first late TESD drop, has gotten his 15 minutes of fame from finding shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jensen is an example of a Milk Shake Duck when past girlfriends come forward claiming he was manipulative and abusive.

Other instances of horrific food finds include a lady who found a finger in her Wendy’s chili and a penis in the soup.

Walt is taught the meaning of the phrase “Gaslighting”.

Sunday Jeff is getting ripped and shares his work out routine. He sadly reflects he is not a vascular guy and doesn’t have popping veins.

Bryan asks Twitter who they prefer of the two landlords on Three’s Company Roper or Furley. This leads to a discussion of spin-offs of successful sitcoms where the person leaves a good thing to gamble on their own star power.

A hypothetical of who Sunday Jeff would confide in if he could talk to dead people. This leads to a discussion of the afterlife and the guy’s religious beliefs. Is permanent death when the last person who remembers you dies? Comic Book Men reruns on Pluto TV might be the key to immortality.

Frank 5 Day is looking to be much bigger than Walt expected with lots of special guests stopping by. Walt pleads the ants to keep low expectations.

Walt is likewise maintaining low expectations for Kong vs Godzilla.

#474: Retell’Em Steve Dave: Part Two

*Featured image by TESDTown

Pod Description:

The boys talk about days of olde with Kev Smith.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Kevin Smith


“You wanna take over the government?” – Kevin

“In fact, don’t ask me for photos.” -Q

“You gotta join the TezDee kids in TezDee town.” – Kevin

“They went in deep and hard and fast with no lubricant” -Kevin

“Balls deep son.” – Bry

I didn’t let any tears come out of these duckets.” – Walt

“It was like I was on coke!” – Walt watching Tom Brady beat the Falcons.

“Git’er done GOAT!” – Walt

“Git’em, Walter your son is fucking shit up!” – Kevin

“This is what happened when Ben got with J-Lo, you got married and became a fancy boy!” -Kevin to Bry

“If this image was on my coffin I’d be proud to be dead.” – Bry

“Sunday Jeff is a real talent, it might look like he’s comatose.” – Walt

“I’m glad that you love me, but I get that everywhere. What I need from you is sex.” – Kevin to Jen

“There’s no fear, only judgment.” – Q about Walt

Memorable Moments:

Continued from Part 1 SmodCast #440 Part 3 found at SmodCast #441.

Walt’s love of Tom Brady is dissected and compared to Kevin’s admiration of Wayne Gretzky. Walt maintains that he’s never been brought to tears from Tom’s triumphs, although a comeback victory against Atlanta came close. Walt believes he could be a good addition to Tom Brady’s crew and could talk him out of posting dubious things like kissing his son or father. Walt admits that he first started liking Tom Brady and Tim Tebow just to be a contrarian but has honestly begun to admire them.

A scrapped Comic Book Men banter involved a Flash Gordon scenario of which real world athlete the guys would believe capable of saving the world from aliens. Of course Walt said Tom Brady.

Kevin Smith was always surprised when Comic Book Men was renewed for additional seasons since they buried it in the middle of the night with no reruns. The only time he thought it was a shoe-in was after his heart attack but that’s when it was finally axed. Walt suspects it was for insurance reasons not wanting Kev to drop dead during filming. It’s revealed the AMC crew got awesome beach front rental homes during the shoot. Could Comic Book Men be saved if it got the same level of replay that Impractical Jokers does on TruTV? Kevin is on board with Q using his clout to reboot Comic Book Men.

Walt insists that Bryan’s wedding would have made for a great finale of Tell’em Steve Dave.

Are the Patreon exclusive gifts getting to become KISS level of slapping logos on everything?

Walt discusses how he likes to encourage the creativity and star power of others in Patreon, making Sunday Jeff and Frank 5 into hosts.

Q tells of his father working on a subway car nick named “The Meat Train” for how many suicidal people threw themselves on the tracks.

Kevin reveals that him and Walt got into the first real argument they’ve had in years when Walt confronted Kev on his daily use of weed. Kevin defends his habit by linking weed to every creative thing that has come his way in the past decade. Comic Book Men came from a smoke session with an AMC exec. Kevin believes fake Walt should have gotten an Emmy for his acting on CBM.

#473: Keep it De-real

*Featured image by Mike Duyn

Pod Description:

Q gives a Covid update, passwords, immortality, and yellow cardinals.


Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn


“Dude not even I’m riled up. If I’m not riled up no one’s riled up.” – Bry

“I think everybody needs drugs except me.” – Walt

“I’ll just FaceTime you during every shit I take, just in case.” – Q

“If they want you to put your head in a plastic bag, do it.” -Q

“Dr. Quinn, Medicine Man.” – Bry

“Funky Cold Moderna” – Walt

“I’m ready to move in just in case it happens.” – Bry

“Everybody in this situation, Fuck Off!” – Q

“You got COVID and they have you out there doing soft shoe!” – Bry to Q

“Sorry Carol Quinn, looks like your time’s up.” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Q checks in with an update on his health recovering from COVID. He says some days he feels fine and other days are hell and people should do everything in their power to avoid it. Because the virus can cause blood clots his doctors are prescribing intense testing due to his history of stroke.

Bryan self diagnoses himself with depersonalization disorder as he often feels like an observer to his own life.

Walt’s new full time job seems to be finding articles online to intrigue Q.

Bryan stops taking his rage medication as it slows his metabolism making him gain weight. Doctor puts him on Lithium instead. Will this lead to emo Bryan writing grunge songs? He is having trouble getting a refill for his Adderall due to healthcare red tape. Quinn could come to his rescue.

Q gets dose one of the Moderna vaccine. Both the 5s had it and Mrs. 5 had a bad reaction where Frank had to help her go to the bathroom for a week due to fatigue. Walt says he would be Q’s go to man if he needs help since he is semi retired. Bry suggests he could move in to be a full time bathroom attendant.

UK Green Party member Baroness Jones demands a 6pm curfew for men following the disappearance of a young woman. Not even Bryan can get riled up about this as it is so preposterous and out there.

TESD talks about the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan, the former royals. Q, the resident UK expert has no love or interest in the Royal family. Q said out of all the Royals he could see him being friends with Harry the most, Walt thinks William has a stick up his ass bigger than he does. If Q was in Harry’s place and his wife told him to leave the life of luxury he would kick her to the curb.

Walt comes to the realization that he is retired, Bryan tells him you get used to doing nothing.

Walt reads an article about the hypothetical Dyson Sphere, which could make someone immortal. Because of all the footage and recording between the podcast and their TV shows an AI could realistically recreate their personalities just like an episode of Black Mirror. Q says that’s just like his life now, being drug out from death for someone else’s entertainment.

A rare yellow cardinal has been spotted in Illinois. How is this news?

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing. Bry doesn’t give Walt access to Maribeth’s mom’s Disney+ account. Walt suggests buying accounts for all the streaming apps through the company card so they can write it off as a business expense.

Q enjoys the new CW show Superman and Lois saying it’s classic Supes.

Q and Walt underwhelmed at the Wandavision finale. Q sides with the SWORD agent just doing his job against a literal super terrorist Wanda.

Should I Buy Comics be rebranded as The Gatekeepers?

May 2nd will be the first TESD celebration day at the General Store as Frank 5 comes for a Meet and Greet