The 2020 TESD XMAS Special – The Christmas K.I.S.S.

Buy it on Bandcamp or Patreon!

Description:

Grab some egg not, flip the yule log on the TV and cozy up with Bryan, Walt, BQ, Sunday Jeff, Ming, Git’em and Tom for the 2020 Tell’em Steve-Dave Christmas Special: The Christmas K.I.S.S. This year we go back to the basics! Banter, games, rapping and more! Merry Christmas TESD Town!

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Ming Chen

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Sunday Jeff

Tom Miloszewski

Quotes:

“This is how you wormed your way onto the table!” – Walt to Git’em

“You know you’re definitely gonna be a widow right?” – Bry to Maribeth

“Orphan is the new midget.” – Walt

“I’m glad there’s no video so they can’t see me sweating.” – Tom

“I already have like 12 other accounts to go after him. Tom ruined Christmas!” – Git’em

“It doesn’t look like a tattoo anymore, it looks like a mole that needs to be looked at by a doctor.” – Walt to Ming

“Just remember, Tom’s the chef, you take out the trash when he’s done!” – Sunday Jeff

“You know how screaming at Bob Barker makes him a better game show host.” – Bry

“I’m going to have to start recognizing Tom’s basic humanity.” – Q

“Anything outside Monmouth County is the Forbidden Zone.” – Sunday Jeff about Walt.

“When’s that sweet bald man coming back to spend Christmas with us?” – Walt’s family about Sunday Jeff

“He was the Fonzie to your Cunninghams.” – Git’em

“We need to get your seed in a willing bearer.” – Q

“Tell’em Steve Dave is the Island of Misfit Toys, it’s all fucked up in here.” – Q

“He gets the Johnson list of grievences out and prepares to read them.” – Q

“Strangely her maiden name was Johnson so who knows how inbred we are.” – Bryan

“I know if he spend more than 10 minutes with you he’d know what a bad decision he made going to your dinner instead of mine!” – Walt to Ming about Tom Brady

Games / Reoccuring Segments

Cryptic Riddles

Dyslexia

I Fought the Law and the Law One

High Ho Ho Low

Snow Ballin’

Family Feud

Character Guessing Game

Rap Battle

Memorable Moments:

Tom gets to sit at the table this year instead of on the floor like in 2019. This time Tom acts at game master to allow Walt to play along with Bry and Q against Git’em, Ming, and Sunday Jeff. No stakes this year, just bragging rights.

Walt tells of how he tried to get rid of Git’em for the 2013 Christmas show after they finished recording the Fiasco Pod but he stuck around and produced gold with his retelling of his worst holiday memories.

Bry begins his own Christmas tradition by tailoring his tree to precisely his taste with horror themed ornaments and not using any cheap generic ones or hand me downs from Pam. Walt’s tradition of driving around looking at Christmas lights is going to change up a little this year as his youngest daughter will be the driver.

The Christmas Special is split between games and Christmas Chats.

Chat #1: Christmas Present. What does it feel like to be sitting together again for the 10th annual TESD XMas pod?

Game #1: Cryptic Riddles. In an effort to reduce player rage, Tom actually explains the rules of the game and how the riddles work. This combined with giving helpful (easy) clues leads to a perfect score for both teams. Walt questions if people are going to enjoy a game where everyone gets the right answers and there is no in-fighting. Ming, a Catholic, questions the validity of the Immaculate Conception.

Game #2: Dyslexia. Once again the clues provided by Tom lead to both teams solving most of these clues. Ming accidentally tells Mike he’ll see him at the TESD Christmas Pod, despite the fact he wasn’t invited. Is a Pole Vault the opposite of a Cane? Q has been re-watching I Love Lucy and is amazed at how funny it still is this day and age.

Chat #2: Christmas Future. Each person discusses their hopes and dreams of Christmas’ yet to come. Bry plans to drive up to hang out with Q Christmas Night but Walt thinks as a newlywed that plan will be squashed. Git’em wants to start a family and plant Christmas trees. Sunday Jeff spent a few Christmas’ with the Flanagan family and everyone had a great time.

Game #3: I Fought the Law and the Law One. Tom has a series of three Christmas related laws the teams have to guess which are true.

Game #4: High Ho Ho Low. Tom teaches an economics class as most of these questions are about commerce.

Chat #3: If a Christmas Carol was real and you could invite one person from Christmas Past, Present, and Future to dinner who would you? Q chooses Git’em’s future child, Walt chooses present Tom Brady, and Bry chooses his Grandmother. Git’em chooses his past self to try and warn him of his fate, Ming also chooses Tom Brady to steal him from Walt, and Sunday Jeff confusingly picks a future George Lucas to ask him a series of fanboy questions.

Game #5: Snow Ballin’. Tom gives the name of a sex act he found in a women’s health magazine and the guys have to guess what it entails.

Game #6: Family Feud.

Game #7: Holiday Character Guessing Game.

Game #8: Rap Battle

#461: Stronger than Time

*Featured Image by @AntKoolAid

Pod Description:

The boys talk midlife crisis, bullying. Bry & Q try their hand at unorthodox couples counseling

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

“Fuck you, God.” – Bry

“I’m not eating fertilizer.” – Walt

“I want the beeps and the boops and whatever fuckin’ nonsense they were playin over and over again in my youth.” – Q

“I’m not into virgins.” – Walt

“The only thing new I buy is a car, everything else I want some miles on it.” -Q

“Man, do I have enough comics?” – Walt’s midlife crisis

“I’m stronger than time.” – Walt

“Oh my god, Toad got old.” – Bry

“Nobody’s lookin’ for a huge vagina.” – Walt

“My candidate won, it wasn’t Biden, it wasn’t Trump. It was marijuana.” – Bry

“Going back to me coming down on 148 on the weekends, you don’t understand it’s a constant barrage of stupidity and ineptness!” -Walt

Memorable Moments:

Bryan appears on an episode of “Who are These Podcasts?”

Q and the rest of the Jokers are shooting the show again leading Q to have to quarantine with his new X-Box over Thanksgiving.

Q wonders if he is edging towards a mid-life crisis and wonders what his legacy will be. Decides he wants to buy a Delorian.

Q wants to make a 4 Color Demons limited edition brew, Walt agrees to drink one if he does.

Bry is set to record a pod with Toad.

New Jersey legalizes marijuana which leads to a discussion on crack cocaine and magic mushrooms. Git’em arrives to talk about how the race track used to sell horse shit for mushroom farmers to grow in.

Walt and Git’em get into a heated discussion over whether Git’em should have known to bag two new trade paperbacks or not. Q acts as a couples therapist for the two of them and make them both say nice things about each other.

Git’em delves into the multi-world theory in which if he didn’t work at the Stash he would have been home to stop the fire that took his house.

Bry reveals he has been coloring in Adult Coloring Books to get in a Zen mood. Walt tells him it sounds like a “Pam” thing to do.

#459: Mask

*Featured Image by Bryan Johnson

Pod Description:

Git Em and Q debate The Mandalorian, an update on brother Erik, Ant tattoos.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

Erik Johnson

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

“So where’s the hair now?” – Walt

“Sit down, asshole!” – Walt

“So you drive around with a box of hair?” – Walt

“It’s not like I stroke it and lovingly stare at it!” – Git’em

“Maybe I was wrong, I probably was wrong.” – Git’em

“He says it’s as protective as wearing two condoms.” – Git’em on Walt’s masks

“Jeff has called it the pussifying of Star Wars.” – Walt on Baby Yoda.

“Walt’s fashioning his mask into a noose, we need to wrap this up.” – Bryan

“He sounds like Kenny from South Park.” – Q about masked Walt.

“If it wasn’t for 7 of 9, Barack Obama never would have been president, that’s actually true.” – Git’em

“Remember that lady who got her face chewed off by a chimp? That’s what he looks like right now.” – Bryan about Erik

“That’s what you get when you put your life on the line for others.” – Erik

“I love that even happiness is a weapon in the Johnson family.” – Q

“Did your parents build their house on an Indian burial ground? What the fuck!” – Walt

“The only way I can be happy again is if Bryan becomes miserable again.” – Erik

Memorable Moments:

Git’em is called to the carpet to answer Reddit’s condemnation for not using Q’s teeth fund money or the Fahrenheit 148 fundraiser money to better his own life. Git’em responds that he isn’t spending frivolously and is still saving to own a home rather than rent. Git’em still has Q’s hair and has not sold it yet as he was expecting it to appreciate in value after the release of the IJ movie. Walt believes there is no market for Q’s hair since it’s been several years since Murr was forced to wear it on the show, Git’em estimates he could get a couple thousand for it. Walt says he’s going to die with that hair since he can’t get rid of anything.

Walt is doubling up on masks for added protection, at the cost of a muffled voice.

Q is loving the new season of The Mandalorian but Walt and Git’em thinks the addition of Boba Fett is mere pandering and they “are blowing the Boba Fett load” too soon.

Erik calls in to check up with the Ants after his appearance at Bryan’s bachelor party. Erik has had some surgeries to remove skin cancer, then breaks his arm mountain biking with his step son. Bry suggests Maribeth refrain from taking his last name since it’s obviously cursed.

Erik says every time he calls Pam all she wants to talk about is how great Bryan is doing. Pam and Edgar get into a real Lockhorn scenario arguing in Food Town when Pam forgets her debit card in the machine and Edgar can’t find his favorite tote bag.

Q writes a story for the horror anthology “Centralia”.

Bry gets a TESD Ant tattoo to cover up his maligned Calvin and Hobbes tattoo.

#458. Sarcata Nagrata

*Featured Image by @tesdgroupie

Pod Description:

Walt celebrates a sexy birthday, Git ‘Em lives with Camel spiders, Joe Gatto calls in to talk pooches.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git’em Steve Dave

Joe Gatto

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

“You don’t even want to see how limp my dick is.” – Bry

“My friend has fallen on hard times. He’s sleeping with silverfish and crickets up his ass.” – Q

“As out of left field as me being on methadone and Debbie getting me clean!” – Walt

“It wasn’t when you had sex with me despite barely knowing me at a One Star Motel at your expense.” – Except from Bry’s wedding vows.

“I am a fan of rapid escalation to the point it makes people uncomfortable.” – Bry

“Bring the Golden Corral home to you.” – Q to Walt

“They’ll have so much chocolate on their face it’ll look like they’re about to be cancelled.” – Bry

“In what world is BQ not a threat to every woman on the planet?” – Walt

“Those days are over. We need Blue Chew in this relationship.” – Walt about Git’em

“I can’t stand you, see you Wednesday.” – Walt to Git’em

“I went decades without seeing those fuckin’ crickets. They must have had an orgy or something.” – Q

“Yeah shitting in a pail in the middle of a field, that’s your A-List material.” – Walt to Git’em

“By Sugar Baby I mean I have horrible Diabetes.” – Bry as Git’em

“I knew those Hollywood types were fucking freaks.” – Walt as Landlord

“That poor cat has been flogged and put on the stroll for 8 years now.” -Q

Memorable Moments:

Bry is confident his best days are ahead of him since he’s had so many bad ones behind.

Walt is ready for retirement after Covid gave him a little taste of of the lifestyle.

Debbie Flanagan was disappointed that Walt wouldn’t get the chance to give a speech at Bryan’s wedding and be able to get back at him for joking that Walt was a recovering meth addict at his wedding.

Walt celebrates the best birthday weekend of his life: Some quality time with his wife while the kids were out of the house, his Friendly’s steak was the best piece of meat he ever had in his life, and he got to watch Tom Brady beat Aaron Rodgers instead of going to a family obligation.

Q gifts Walt a chocolate fountain so that he would never have to relive his tortuous trip to Golden Corral again.

Bryan tries to let Walt down gently that The Great Pumpkin will not be on broadcast TV for the first time since original airing. Walt thinks there are more important things to trouble yourself with than the loss of a TV special.

Q has been reading the Cormoran Strike series of detective stories written under a pseudonym by J.K. Rowling. Walt asks why he’s not concerned that she is “Sarcata Nagrata”.

Bry visits Reddit and see’s that he failed to introduce Steve Byrne the previous episode and not many people were fans of the phone call.

Bryan tries to catch Walt in a lie about not wearing a gold chain to his wedding with photographic evidence, Walt insists it is a photoshop.

Q acts as a mentor to his friend who comes to him with an issue of finding Viagra in her husband’s belongings and wanting advice. Q wonders if it is a similar relationship that Walt has to Git’em. Git’em is called over to discuss.

It’s revealed that Git’em is now living with his friend and long-time standing dinner date yet his basement apartment is infested with bugs and he has to drive to a portapotty whenever he needs to defecate. The guys question why he doesn’t look into apartments for rent with the money from the charity pod. Git’em would rather save money for something more permanent. Q takes the opportunity to offer to pay Git’em’s rent as his Sugar Daddy. Walt thinks Git’em just likes having these crazy stories to talk about and be the ‘Kooky’ guy.

Sunday Jeff tells Walt he saw Git’em’s friend chastise him like a mother to a 5 year old child one day she dropped him off.

Q asks all Ants to leave reviews for R&H beer on Untappd to help his brand.

Q sends Scotty Gomez some R&H beer while Scotty sends Q funny videos. Walt is slightly disappointed that Scotty Gomez is a regular ‘dude-bro’. Walt questions why guys can playfully call each other dick-head and douchebag after hearing how Scotty and Q address each other.

Joe Gatto calls in to talk about his new book “The Dogfather”. Joe’s dog total is up to 8 including all the ailing animals he’s rescued. Joe’s dog Cannoli had it’s own pet agent. Walt one time thought Cooper could be a show dog but didn’t want to be one of those parents to child stars.

After Bryan’s grandmother died when he was very young his aunt took in his grandmother’s dog, Chloe. Chloe drowned shortly thereafter leading Pam to say to Bryan it must have been a case of suicide because she missed Bry’s grandmother so much.

#457: The Meundies 2020 TESD Halloween Spooktacular

Featured Image by @4CDuca3650

Pod Description:

Prepare for an episode choc-a-bloc full of sassy spirits, cheeky poltergeists and a very special visit from a horror icon.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Baron Von Flanagan

The White Baron

Svengoolie

Git’emvira: Mistress of the Dark

Tomzoolie

Tim the Record Store Clerk

Sunday Jeff

Ming Chen

Mike Zapcic

Troy

Father Lance

SargeL18 and Teleahqua

Chris Laudando

Maxwell

Kevin Smith

Declan Quinn

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

“You know what that means Q, TESD is done with the charity game! Now it’s all about Barons and elevating and becoming Demigods!”- Baron Von Flanagan

“You’re less than half a man if you lose tonight.” – Baron Von Flanagan to White Baron

“With a quick photoshop and a different word, Q is out of a job!” – Bryan

“He lost a hell of a lot more than being a Baron that night.” – Baron von Flanagan if Q loses his livelihood.

“He looks like Slash’s corpse.” – Bryan about Tomzoolie

“The podcast cutie that makes all the boys stand up and salutey.” – Git’emvira

“He’s not even on camera and he’s walking with a swish around the store!” – White Baron about Git’emvira

“There are no tricks.” – Walt

“Except the ones that Git’em are turning out on Broad Street.” – Bryan

“He looks like Danny DeVito in Batman Returns.” – White Baron about Tomzoolie

“Mistress of the not-dark-enough.” – Bryan about Git’emvira

“2020 has been shit for everybody, except Bryan Johnson.” – Baron von Flanagan.

“Donut on a stick? That shouldn’t be erotic, right?” – Baron von Flanagan.

Games Played

Baron Trivia Contest

Physical Challenges

Dyslexia

Memorable Moments:

Walt announces that this will be the first of three Halloween podcasts released this October. This audio version is available for free with the video available to all tiers on the TESD patreon. The All New Sunday Jeff Show and Father von Flanagan Halloween episodes to come in the following weeks.

Svengoolie introduces the 2020 TESD Halloween Spectacular.

Baron von Flanagan tells us that by the end of the show either Bryan, Sunday Jeff or Q the White Baron will be elevated to a brand new member of the Colored Cadre of Fiends. If Q comes in third place he will be stripped of his White Baron title and that given to whoever comes in second place.

Walt announces his displeasure that not one newspaper or news station covered the fact that TESD donated “10 Grand!” to a local NJ orphanage last Christmas. Q says the same thing happened after the Tenderloins donated the entire ticket sales to Manchester Strong after the bombing.

Q gets too hot under the rubber mask of the White Baron so to compromise he offers to write “White Baron” on his Covid facemask. Walt and Bry tell him that might be misconstrued and come back to bite him on the ass.

Baron von Flanagan announces his co-hosts: Tomzoolie and Git’emvira.

The Contest to determine the newest Baron is unveiled. Tomzoolie has created a Jeopardy-like board of question categories that the contestants can choose from 5 different difficulty levels. In addition all 4 and 5 point questions come along with a physical challenge to be performed by Git’emvira to win extra points.

The question categories are as follows: A Southern Gentleman’s Askew View where Brian Maxwell gives a skewed synopsis of famous horror movies from the perspective of the villain. TESD Town Hall where a different member of TESD town gives horror movie trivia. Cliff’s Quotes where Ming Chen gives a unique take on a famous horror movie quote. What’s in a Title where a horror movie poster is revealed with the title removed.

The physical challenges are as follows: Skeleton Limbo, Make Q Laugh, Apple Cider Chug, Belt of Hot Dogs, Candy Bar Challenge, Ghost Bowling, Balloon Popping, Guess how many Candy Corn, Horror Movie Charade, and Donut on a Stick.

Q begins to question if Tom is slowly replacing Git’em in Walt’s affections.

A young Bryan Johnson was obsessed with a man’s dick in the old horror movie “Ghost Story”

The final challenge is to uncover the Dyslexia clues to complete the poem to summon the newest member of the Colored Cadre of Fiends.

“Glittery Knight, oh so fierce and mighty, like some 24 karat Charles Nelson Reilly. Baptized in countless showers of demonic pee, more flamboyant and fabulous than Liberace!” -Poem to summon the Golden Baron

The Gold Baron can only read facts about fabulous celebrities like Judy Garland.

#452: Die on Every Hill

*Featured image by Eric Mason

Description:

Bry and his boys retire to a cave to record the bachelor party of the Pandemic. Trigger warning: spotty sound in the beginning.

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Ming Chen

Erik Johnson

Darin Johnson

Frank 5

Troy

Quotes:

“The only think I wanted to be was normal.” – Erik

“I fuckin hate you more every time I look at you.” – Erik

“Oh fuck, she’s fuckin’ somebody” – Erik

“I think Erik’s been on the West Coast too long. He just met Frank 5 and within two seconds of meeting him is like ‘I can examine your prostate'” – Walt

“You know how many actual hot girls there are in the world? It’s not that many you wanna go poking around in vaginas.” – Q on Gynocologists.

“It’s worth sticking that finger where it’s gotta go.” – Walt

“I met Maribeth’s father, does he know how old you are?” – Walt

“You know what’s really funny is you throw a wedding in the middle of a worldwide pandemic and you’re like ‘what an asshole for not coming.'” – Q

“Edgar made every hill his own.” – Bry

“It doesn’t matter how comfortable you make her, just let her know you could always leave her, you gotta keep her in fear.” – Erik’s marriage advice

“There’s a vagrant with a brown finger in my neighborhood!” – Bry as Walt about Erik.

“He’s right, we turned off the lights and played ‘Who’s in my mouth'” -Troy about his bachelor party.

“You really think you can be happy?” – Erik about Bry

Memorable Moments:

This episode was recorded at Bryan Johnson’s bachelor party at the Gramercy Mansion in Maryland.

The TESD crew discuss previous bachelor parties. Walt’s was held at a NJ Devil’s game whereas Erik took everyone to a Drag Bar called Aunt Charlie’s.

Erik reveals that in medical school future doctors train using paid prostate models who get hundreds of fingers up their ass all day long.

Walt insists that after the wedding Bryan will become the favored Johnson son.

Bry feels getting married makes him feel much more like an adult.

Gitem turned down going to the wedding so he could man the Stash.

Erik flexes his prosperity by sending picture of his new Malibu beach house to Bry.

Comic Book Men producer Brian Nashel was told by his wife he could not travel during Covid to go to the wedding.

A drunk and bitter Erik Johnson does not agree with the Happy Wife, Happy Life advice given by the other married people at the party. It is revealed he and his wife are separating after her infidelity.

The Johnson brothers recall a time Pam hid in a closet trying to stab herself in the stomach with a knife in front of the kids. Erik diagnoses her with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Walt considers standing up after the officiant announces Bryan and Maribeth man and wife and shouting “Tell’em Steve Dave!”

Q announces he will be officiating the ceremony. Ming reminds everyone both he and Mike are also licensed to preside over weddings.

Walt tells Bry he was feeling nervous for him driving down, but that he is glad Bryan is finally at a place where he will allow himself to be happy.

#451: I Buy Comics

*Featured image by Joseph Bradascio

Description:

Bry, Walt and Q bring a taste of Patreon.

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“I do love the smell of pulp. I love the smell of pussy. The older i get the more pulp starts winning.” -Q

“If having a big dick is a super power, then super heroes really do walk among us.” -Q

“I wouldn’t use it in a bad way.” – Q about his shape shifting powers in the bedroom.

Games Played

Comic Book Quiz

Memorable Moments:

Bry and Sage introduce this weeks episode, a free release of a Patreon original, I Buy Comics. It is revealed that Sage’s nicknames are Bunny, Boo, and Snake Weedsmeyer.

Walt reads a list of the top ten questions a comic fan should ask themselves before they die.

  1. What is the most money you ever spent on on book? Walt reveals he wasted good money on a recalled book featuring superbaby in a microwave.
  2. Do you remember your first “wall book”?
  3. What was the first time you speculated a book would be collectible and bought multiple copies?
  4. Name a smell better than pulp?
  5. If you owned a comic company what franchise would you go after? Walt would want to make Planet of the Apes comics, Q would go after Godfather.
  6. If you were editor in chief of DC in charge of a new “Crisis” what character would you kill off to maximize sales and chatter? Q would kill Barry Allen, he hates Barry Allen.
  7. What is your all time favorite costume?
  8. What is the worst all time cover gimmick?
  9. What is the best character to come out of a fad? Walt remembers Dazzler coming about from Disco. Q mentions the New Warriors Snowflake and Safespace
  10. What are the best powers to have in the sack? Both Walt and Q agree its physical manipulation like Plastic Man.

Frank 5 treats the listeners to a snippet of the recent episode of Patreon’s Frank 5’s Rewind: The Office where Walt imagines Tom Brady loves Giselle as much as Jim loves Pam

Walt challenges Q and Bry to a comic book trivia contest to send original artwork to listeners. Q gets general comic questions including listing books by how valuable they are and answering if a given color Krpytonite was really part of Superman lore. Bry’s questions are all about books that he has written himself; Karney, War of the Undead, and Cryptozoic Man.

Bry believes Wayne Jansen is the answer for every question involving inking or coloring his books.

Q recalls boring Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins on the set of Wonder Woman by geeking out over DC comics.

Sunday Jeff introduces a sneak peak of Patreon’s The All New Sunday Jeff Show where Walt ponders if we should be cloning famous actors so that decades in the future we can still produce films with the original cast.

#450: Silver (alert) Foxes

*Featured image by Mike Ward

Description:

The evils of ‘Kindergarten Cop’, Q “loses’”power, has TESD lost its fastball?

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“How fucking stupid is it to let all these prisoners out because of covid. Now let’s talk about sending all the kids to school!” – Bry

“A Blonde adult is unusual” – Bry

“So they have to put up with a little loudness so you’re not dyin?” – Q about Bry’s generator.

“I’m disappointed in the fuckin’ trees in this area, we got pussy trees.” -Walt about the number of branches down.

“My boners are on point” – Q

“He’s fuckin’ going to be a fox whether it’s a brown fox, silver fox, or a red fox.” – Walt

“I’m comin’ Elizabeth!” -Bry as Redd Foxx

“I betcha it’s ALL missionary with Arnold.” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

The guys discuss the August 4 big storm as the hurricane touches down in NJ. Q may or may not be siphoning power from a nearby children’s hospital. A neighbor’s tree smashes through Q’s new fence and is now ignoring it.

The guys discuss firehouse politics and how Q says he would never take a promotion that would remove him from his house. Walt thinks he is like the fire chief that can’t relate to the common Joes Mike and Gitem.

Impractical Jokers may begin filming again soon with socially distant challenges.

The guys discuss the explosion in Beirut.

A rape suspect is released due to COVID concerns only to kill his accuser.

Bry tries to explain the soul to Sage and can’t quite find the words. Walk says it’s easy; “Souls are astral ghosts that look like you.” The movie Ghost is discussed.

Walt wonders if TESD lost it’s fastball.

A showing of Kindergarten Cop is cancelled because of the “political climate” involving police in schools

.

Image by Eric Mason

Trader Joe elects to keep ethnic names like Trader Jose because people rallied against removing them.

#449: Dr. Qlittle

*Featured image by Eric Mason

Description:

Q plays Ranger Rick. Walt faces down killer bees. Bry issues an apology.

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Turns out the only thing that didn’t have AC was his walk in closet.”

“I prostitute myself for way more than $20. But trust me this mouth is stretched out.” -Q

“We were looking for a fish that didn’t exist.” – Walt

“Oh my god it fucking smells like a dumpster.” – Walt

“Not enough people are feeling sorry for me! All this COVID shit is distractin’ them.” -Bry as Q

“Millions of people have died, I haven’t had AC for an hour!” – Walt as Q

“Can she come back from this and dance with people grinning ear to ear?” – Walt

“Four days looking for that fuckin’ fish.” – Walt

“You got that Comic Book Men money layin’ around, why not get an electric wheelchair?” -Bry

“I look like Conan on the Wheel of Death!” – Walt

“That’s the cashmere Gildan” – Walt about Jay and Bob merch.

“Why would a dude be wearing a bikini?” – Walt about his doctor.

Memorable Moments:

Bry feels little need to leave his house anymore now that everything can be delivered straight to his door. Q is nervous coming to Red Bank to record. Walt claims Red Bank has crushed the curve.

Swarms of bee’s swarmed Cape May, NJ while Walt was on vacation.

Despite a pandemic, protests and riots, Ellen being mean to people has been front page headlines much to Q’s amazement. Q has heard personal stories from people that have worked on her show that confirm.

Walt bored on vacation spends 4 days trying to find a giant plaster fish in Cape May that was featured in Weird NJ magazine. He later finds out it was destroyed years past in a storm.

Walt got buff from pushing his mother-in-law around in a wheelchair through sand and across board walks all weekend.

Walt can’t enjoy his 7$ water ice because of the lobster roll stand next door. An aquarium at the boardwalk lets you feed live fish to piranha. T-shirt stands sell unbelievably cheap and tacky merch such as a “I’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks” shirt.

Q has several run ins with live animals at his home as mice chew through his Air Conditioning cord and he saves an abandoned baby squirrel by playing mother sounds from Youtube and bringing it to the Staten Island Squirrel Whisperer.

Bry bemoans a graham cracker shortage.

Bryan runs down the new uptick in fat shows with Family by the Ton, Thousand Pound Sisters, and My 600 lb Life.

Bry wonders what his big Act III will be. He is considering writing his memoirs, “Bryan Johnson: Slow Burn to Awesomeness”.

Do doctors personal lives while not at work impact their ability to do their work?

#448: Sk8ter Boyz

*Featured image by Erich Lehman

Description:

Homeward Bound, The Ten Commandments and mortality.

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“My top half is better than my bottom half.” – Walt

“I think everything men do is mostly to get laid.”-Q

“There’s a skill to baseball. A crackhead could give birth”-Q

“Mmmm that ass would look good sliced up in my fireplace” -Q

“Yeah? Well I got all my digits… no USE for ‘em”- Walt in response to Tommy Mason

“You don’t think Evel Knievel isn’t out for some ‘tang jumping Snake River?” – Walt

“It’s like something Gene Kelly would have did in the fuckin’ 40s!” – Walt

“Unless it’s an orgy you don’t need to be sleeping on the floor with ten people.” – Bry

“I never went to Action Park, my biggest action was the bus ride.” – Walt

“Walt ‘No Shenanigan” Flanigan” – Walt

Memorable Moments:

Walt says he has no capacity to learn how Zoom works after watching Bry struggle for 10 minutes to connect to Q.

Walt is about to go on vacation with his family to Cape May. He is looking forward to getting to sketch while everyone else is at the beach.

Bry discusses the Action Park documentary and his experiences getting injured there. Walt remembers the story of the boy who got decapitated by a water slide.

Walt says he was always cautious as a lad and listened to his mother about not taking too many risks. The guys remember the time Tommy Mason lost all of his finger tips jumping off of the Highlands bridge. Walt says the girls would gather and be impressed by the boys that lept.

Q can not confirm whether trick photography was used during an Impractical Jokers punishment when Sal and Murr had to leap off a cliff at Fawn’s Leap.

Bry has no respect for people over the age of 20 that skateboard or any girl skater after Maribeth admitted she used to skateboard just to fit in with the crowd.

Sports are set to come back with social distancing and no spectators in the stands. Q mentions Wrestling has been doing this for a while and thinks adding fake crowd noises is too distracting.

Bry breaks down the 10 Commandments for Q and Walt to see if they are all on the stairway to heaven. Walt suggests self flagellation when you start to get the urge to covet.

A Kansas dog named Cleo travels across state lines to return to its former home in Missouri. Walt compares this to the movie Homeward Bound and it’s sequel ‘Lost in San Francisco’.