Join the Tell ‘Em Steve-Dave family for the 11th annual TESD Christmas pod! This Christmas shall be one to remember, for this Christmas is an Overkill Christmas.
“That’s why the Romans invented ‘Persona non Grata'”- Bryan
“I don’t ever remember life without him” – Q about Git’em
“Fuck these Yorkies.” – Q
“People will be saying ‘Prussian Who'” – Q
“Close da Windahs yer motha’s cold!” – Tim as his dad.
“All the Bumble can do is gum Santa’s ass.” – Walt
“You got to give him the Jewish handicap.” – Q
“You’ll shit your eye out, kid!” – Sunday Jeff
“He’s got an erection like George Bailey!” -Walt
“Your nostalgia is meaningless to me.” – Bry
“I never realized you were such a fuckin’ bully.” – Tim to Walt
“It comes out of ineptitude.”- Walt
“To quote Q, fuck your kids.” – Bryan
“Hey these sausage fingers do a lot of work.” -Q
Games / Reoccuring Segments
In this, the 11th annual Christmas episode, Tim the Record Store Clerk is here to judge everyone’s choices to certain scenarios and award coveted plastic rings to the winner of each category.
Q teases the unveiling of a new haunted artifact that will be even more wonderous than the Prussian Kissing Devil Skull.
Tim recalls his childhood Christmas memories, including needing stitches after slicing his hand open with a can of cranberries.
First Scenario: Create the perfect Human Santapede where two holiday characters must be sewed mouth to anus to Santa Claus
Tom: Santa – Grinch – Mr. Potter
Git’em: Santa – Scut Farkus – Mr. Potter
Walt: Santa – George Bailey – Bing Crosby (they all have erections for some reason).
Bry: Santa – Bumble – Tiny Tim
Q: Santa – Redeemed Scrooge – Cindy Lou Who
Sunday Jeff: Santa – Clark Griswald – Happy the New Year Baby
Ming: Santa – Buddy the Elf – Ralphie
Second Scenario: What was the best toy Santa ever left for you.
Git’em: An Apple Macintosh computer
Walt: Electric Football
Sunday Jeff: The Kenner Millennium Falcon
Third Scenario: Replace Santa’s 8 reindeer with other creatures or beings from pop culture
Tom: A Mogwai he would feed and get wet to make winged Gremlins from Gremlins 2.
Git’em: Iron Man, War Machine, Captain Marvel, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Thor, Hawkeye and Quicksilver
Walt: The Universal Monsters
Bry: The Brady Bunch
Q: The Cenobites
Sunday Jeff: Boba Fett, Xenomorphs, Predator, Robocop, T-800, Stripe, Darth Vader and General Ursus
Ming: John McClane, Hans Gruber, Rocky Balboa, Ivan Drago, Riggs, Murtaugh, Arnold from Jingle all the Way, and Ben Affleck from Reindeer Games.
Fourth Scenario: All time Greatest Christmas Song
Git’em: Christmas Wrapping
Walt: The Christmas Song
Sunday Jeff: Father Christmas
Ming: Christmas in Hollis
Fifth Scenario: Best Christmas show or special
Tom: Saved by the Bell
Git’em: M.A.S.H. “Death takes a Holiday”
Sunday Jeff: Twilight Zone “Night of the Meek”
Sixth Scenario: How would inserting Santa into another movie change it
Tom: Santa in Jaws
Git’em: Santa in Psycho
Walt: Santa in The Exorcist
Bry: Santa in The Thing
Q: Santa in The Omen
Sunday Jeff: Santa in Cannibal Holocaust
Ming: Santa in Alien
Q unveils his latest purchase of magical or haunted artifacts from an underground black market known as The Night Fair: Krumpy the Elf found in Siberia in 1902 and enslaved before dying from a lack of Candy Canes. Q warns that Santa might be coming for it.