#445: Overkill: Kissing the Prussian Devil

*Featured image by Sophie J Moore

Description:

Cryptids and Corona

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

“He’s filibustering to tell us something we already know!” – Bry about Q being a pussy.

“It’s like somebody fucks up your doordash enough times you’ve been good about it, you finally have to go kick a door down!” – Bry

“Your whole life is a riot.” – Q

“These thoughts have been in my head for over a week, I have no outlet. I’m talking to cats!” – Q

“Whoop, tonight my cums gonna be green sweetheart.” – Q

ReOccuring Segments:

Overkill

Memorable Moments:

People on Twitter have been asking for Bryan’s take on the protests and riots but Bry elected to save his comments for TESD and not 150 characters.

Q is remaining socially distant joining Bry and Walt via Zoom. Walt offers to buy Q a plastic bubble.

Benjamin Cat has had another seizure.

Bry clarifies he is not anti liberal but just anti overly PC bullshit.

Q votes for an all fluff TESD with no hot button topics.

TESD talks about the elderly Buffalo man who was pushed by police.

New Jersey and the Secret Stash to reopen on June 22.

Walt reveals a Sunday Jeff backyard barbecue episode has been filmed for Patreon.

Bry brings forth an overkill topic discussing many different United States cryptids: Oklahoma Octopus, Goat Man, Grass Man, Melon Heads,

Walt wants to invent a potion to give people rainbow colored ejaculate.

Q claims to have dug up more info on the Prussian Kissing Devil from the Dark Web

Walt wonders if Q would purchase the Hope Diamond if possible, he could hire Gitem to watch it.

Walt encounters a frog in the wild.

Walt discusses searching for Sheepsquatch as a possible future Patreon project.

Could Prince Charles be a vampire? This could explain why he once desired to be Camilla’s tampon.

Walt discovers that climate change activist Greta Thunberg might be a time traveler.

#436: Overkill Junior

*Featured Image by @AntKoolaid

Description:

Bry loses time in a haunted hotel, the TESD cameramen tell a harrowing story.

Host/Guest:

Walt Flanagan

Bryan Johnson

Brian Quinn

Maribeth 

The Camera Brothers

Mentioned Person:

Reoccurring Segments:  

Overkill

Quotes:

“We got a little too close, invading each others’s space.” – Walt about Frank 5

“He’s a doddering old man but wants to blame it on the supernatural.” – Walt about Bry

“I think I’m being mistreated more and more.  I should command more respect.” – Bry

“He needs to take a toke.” – Walt

“She’s allowed to ack ack ack you?” – Walt about Maribeth censoring Bry.

“You don’t tell me what to do Maribeth, I give you Coronavirus!” – Bry as Ming.

Memorable Moments:

Walt says he and Frank 5 are immune to Coronavirus as he’s sure they already had it back in December.

Bry has a mini Overkill topic:  He and Maribeth stayed in a hotel in NYC after the IJ movie premiere and had many spooky goings on.  First the shower backed up so bad that a thick clump of hair resembling Samara from the Ring films was floating in it.  Secondly when Bry went down to the desk to complain he couldn’t find his way back ending up in floors and hallways he’s never seen before.  Bry later discovers that he was somehow in the completely wrong hotel before a helpful lady helped him find his way.

Is Q’s life like the Metallica song “Turn the Page.” 

Bry asks if he deserved the shoddy treatment he got at a WaWa when a mean lady scolds him for accidentally reaching for the wrong change.

Bry reveals he has finally found a therapist and is on mood stabilizers and beginning to feel better.

Bry also recalls the Usher at Louis C.K. who made it her mission to take Bry down after he attempted to seat himself without going through her.  A gleeful Bry got up to go to the bathroom and get snacks multiple times making a point to circumvent her authority.  She eventually brought the manager down who quickly apologized when Bry showed him his tickets.

Victor and Alex Juarez, the Camera Brothers, sit down and tell their story of thwarting a home invasion in the summer of 2012.  The were returning from dinner for their Dad’s birthday when two masked men with a pistol and shotgun broke into their home and threatened their mother.  These intruders were looking for someone and were in the wrong home.  Alex snatches the shotgun from the intruder and tries to pull the trigger.  Victor takes the other guy’s handgun as they try to flee.  Victor gets one in a headlock while Alex stabs him with his pocketknife.

Bry is censored by Maribeth before he can go into an Asian accent during an ad read.

#381: Butthole Motorboat

Description:

Audio from the TESD livestream and then some extra. Handies, Staten Island lore and George Washington vs the Haitians.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Mike Zapcic

Sound Engineer Christian

Kevin Smith

Quotes:

 

Memorable Moments:

This episode is split into two separate parts.  Part 1 is the audio from the TESD patreon Live Stream and the second is audio from a 2012 live Why Bry recorded in LA.

Part I:  Live Stream

The guys chat with A Shared Universe Podcast Studio sound engineer Christian about how it is to work for Mike and Ming.

Walt is fascinated with the live video feed and blinks out messages in “Morris” code and makes Duck Lips throughout the podcast.

Q apologizes to Haiti for thinking they fought us in the revolutionary war.

Bry tries to find a loophole for the famous VHS tape bet he made with Q, although the bet ended 5 years ago.

Bry and Q retell the tale of the killer caterpillar that made Qs foot go numb.

Walt discusses an awkward encounter with a male masseuse at the mall.  He asks if happy endings could be legal as long as the customer doesn’t climax.

Walt divulges he one time ordered a ton of comics from a Long Beach comic shop but never picked them up, being what he hates most.

Q describes Staten Island naming July 12 Impractical Jokers Day as well as the IJ exhibit in the museum and the parade that was thrown for them.

Q has a quick Overkill topic of the Staten Island witch who was on trial after her sister and niece died in a fire.  Edgar Allen Poe and PT Barnum get involved.

Bry reveals that he never learned to crawl and went straight from immobile to tearing around the house.  Q maintains this explains alot.

Part II:  Why Bry

Bry recounts a disastrous live Space Monkeys show where Q gets too drunk and the crowd starts to turn.

Kev and Bry relive old Quick Stop memories such as the Happy Boy margarine experiment and disappointing the man who just wanted to watch Young Guns II

Bry reveals he made out in the storage room of Quick Stop with the “female PigPen” Christina Cruddy.

Bry talks about the trouble on the set of Comic Book Men season 2 and the origin of the Dick Magnet shirt.

Bry and Kev talk about the time they went to an all nude strip club to get autographed polaroids from the girls and how they left a spit filled condom inside an ATM machine leading to Kev being brought into the police station the next day.

Music:

I Fight Bears – Lost the Fight.

#380: The Declan Cut Sucks

Description:

Bry brings an Overkill That’s sure to please and Walt attempts to top it with a scary close encounter.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Quotes:

“We’re gonna be rich!”- Walt to his daughter upon getting the “UFOs”on film.

Memorable Moments:

The return of Overkill!

TESD is nominated for People’s Choice and Best Comedy over at the Podcast Awards.  Click the link to vote!

Hair Metal throwback band Steel Panther had to change the name of their effects pedal “Pussy Melter” after offending the sensibilities of online crusaders.

Bry brings an overkill topic about a missing girl who reappears hundreds of miles away carrying a newspaper from the future after possibly being abducted by aliens.  Despite this story having everything Walt loves in it, he still picks it apart.  Turns out Bryan wrote it himself in an effort to appease Walt.

Walt and his family witness strange lights in the sky which he swears is UFOs and has the video evidence to prove it.  Q points out that the veracity of the video could come into question with how often Walt talks about getting rich and making the clip go viral.

Bry books a Space Monkeys show Comic Con weekend but was so excited forgot to ask about payment.

Q mistakes Hessian soldiers for Haitian soldiers.

Music:

Senior Discount – Afterlife

#365: Nobody’s Goat

Description:

Walt extolls the virtues of Tim vs Time. Q misses the point of a museum.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Not that one! You keep showin’ the bad pictures. The eye-black one, where he’s on the field scowling.. brooding.. ‘I’m about to take your team down’ look.” – Walt

“Right… or your pants if you’re my son.” – Bry

“Should I google Tom Brady shirtless or just get one off your phone?” – Bry

Reocurring Segment:

Overkill

Memorable Moments:

Rosario Dawson introduces this episode with the Baron Von Flanagan summoning

Walt claims he can’t see stained glass.

Walt recounts the tale of being assaulted by a peacock.

During a late night trip to the Food Town Walt doesn’t make a turn as quickly as a young female driver would like and she loses her mind at him.  Walt waits in his car to try to avoid an altercation but when he finally does go into the store she is waiting for him.  She continues to scream at him and the security guard tells Walt to leave her alone.

Tom Brady releases a documentary about how great he is and makes out with his 11 year old son.  Would Walt Bry and Q have better relationships with their Dads if they did this?

Q ignores Civil Rights and Black History in favor of Indiana Jones at the Smithsonian.

Bry brings in an overkill topic about a woman who sacrificed her children in an Illuminati Voodoo ritual.

TESD announces a second Cochlear Album charity pod coming out soon to help another FDNY firefighter.

Music:

Desmond – Exile

TESD Live at The Gramercy Theater

Pod Description:

For the first time witness Tell ‘Em Steve-Dave Live on stage! On film! In HD!

Over 2 hours of live footage filmed at the legendary New York Gramercy Theatre. Starring Brian Quinn, Bryan Johnson and Walt Flanagan, and featuring TESD favorites Git ‘Em Steve-Dave, Ming Chen, Sal Vulcano and Sunday Jeff.

This landmark film includes both TESD Gramercy shows recorded on July 15, 2016, as well as the NEVER SEEN BEFORE Bonus Footage of Episode 300: Git’Em To The Chapel! You do not want to miss this!

Buy it at https://www.tellemstevedave.com/product/tesd-live-gramercy-theatre/

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Sunday Jeff

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Ming Chen

Sal Vulcano

Brian Maxwell

LED Soundsystem

 

Quotes:

“When Declan hears this, he knows he’s out of a job” Walt about Q’s thunder tube.

“It’s like having a fever, when you get all those weird dreams but without the aches and pains” – Walt about working with Gitem.

“Who the fuck makes this game? Donald Trump?” – Sal

“Gitem was right about me” – Q

Games Played:

Roll a Role

 

Reoccurring Segment:

Overkill

Baron Von Flanagan

Memorable Moments:

 

This video contains two separate Live TESDs recorded at the Gramercy Theater.

First Live Show:

Walt’s vision of the dramatic stage show “Talking Dead” comes to life as Q and Bry enter in cult robes carrying their own lynched puppets. Baron Von Flanagan enters in top hat and cape as all three spit blood upon the audience.

During the Baron Von Flanagan segment Bry and Q provide Thunder and Lightning with a thunder tube and a strobe light.

Gitem and LED SoundSystem perform “Day in the Life” live.

Sunday Jeff arrives wearing all Khakis.

Bry regales the audience with the traumatic trip to the show with him Walt, Gitem, and Sunday Jeff almost getting sideswiped by a van and the constant bickering.

Walt and Gitem come up with a mantra to ensure they remember whether or not they’ve locked the front door, a problem that has caused Walt and Mike numerous sleepless nights.

Sal and Ming join the table for a game of Roll a Role. During the role play no one can keep track of who is male or female or what the topic of choice is.

Bry tells a Why Bry story, where he replies to an email from the digital producer of AMC asking for the guys to compile a comic “pull list”. Bryan’s answer to her is sexually explicit and vulgar.

Second Live Show:

The second show begins in much the same way as the first however with Sunday Jeff and Ming as the cultists this time around. Bryan Johnson is nowhere to be found until he comes hustling up the aisle wearing a Dominoes shirt and “the tightest dickies”.

There is now a bottle of Jameson in front of Q, despite claiming to Walt he doesn’t drink at live shows anymore.

The Baron brings more mind blowing facts. Bry admits wanting to have a baby duckling imprint on him so it thinks he’s it’s dad and they go on adventures.

The second show turns into an overkill episode as Gitem Ming Chen and Sunday Jeff join the table to riotous chants of Sunday Jeff.

Walt’s overkill topic is about an Independent Presidential candidate Andrew D. Bisaggio who claims to be a time traveler who has witnessed Lincolns assassination twice. He promises to share the technology and put Bigfoot on the endangered species list.

Ming has an overkill topic about Chinese Ant Eating therapy which is said to have brought the Ming Dynasty emperor a long life.

Bry’s topic is about Pokemon Go being tied to satanic and Illuminati symbols.

Q has a speed round of 7 quick overkill topics.

Gitem is able to communicate with parrots using the John Williams score of Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Sunday Jeff has a story about a man who received a donated heart falls in love with the mans widow and ends up dying the same way as the first man.

#351: NO MANGO

Description:

TESD vies for gang status. Walt receives a warning from a mysterious source.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Quotes:

“I think the bigger question is do you know what Overkill even is?” – Walt to Bry

“Is your couch fucking King Size?  I doubt it!” – Walt to Gitem

“I think we should get rid of Mike just in case” – Q about a hypothetical Hitler situation.

“Overkill!  Over-kill! The only thing that’s spooky right now is your pulse rate and your wild eyes!” – Walt to Bry when he gets riled up.

“My library music now has fuckin’ Gitem walls around it!” – Walt

“I got a hand job in a night club in Miami called Mangoes” – Q

Reoccurring Segments:

Hitlearn

Memorable Moments:

Mike and Ming are the bad boys of pocasting, as in they are bad at it.

Walt wants TESD to be the Insane Clown Posse of podcasters.  The Juggalos have been labeled a gang, Walt wants the Ants to be as well.  Bry cites occasions where Ants have been denied entrance to a church and registering their car due to 4 Color Demons shirts and stickers on their car.

Ken Jennings refuses to answer Bry’s challenge to take on Walt in a comics trivia contest.

Gitem joins Walt for the ad reads.  During a Casper read Gitem reveals he prefers to sleep on his couch than go upstairs to sleep in his King size bed.  Walt asks if it’s because he is too “Natty’d Out”.

The second ad is for Zip Recruiter and devolves into Walt chiding Gitem for not being the computer whiz he had touted himself as.  Walt accuses Gitem of sabotaging the computer system to ensure he is still needed.   Walt often gets locked out of the new password system that Gitem set up, turns out he was putting in the wrong password.

Bry still doesn’t understand the theme of Overkill and comes to the table with the unsolved murder of Hitler’s niece.

If it was discovered that Mike was a secret Hitler what would happen.  Walt would call Kev to tell him to get in front of the situation.  If Q found out he was a secret Hitler he would use it as an excuse as why he doesn’t want to have kids.

Ben Affleck was on a TV show about finding his ancestors and discovers he is descended from slave owners.

Walt gets an email from someone claiming to be a time traveler warning him to stay away from mangoes due to his severe poison ivy reaction.  Walt claims to have never been exposed to mangoes before, but then just six days after receiving the warning is offered mango cheesecake.

Walt reads the levels of the Illuminati and how to advance in the ranks.  The top tier are the Priest, the Prince, the King, and the Mage.  Walt tries to figure out who in his life fit those four titles.

Music:

Bad Knaves – Get Up On High

#348: Time Commander in Chief

*Featured image by @twoton21

Description:

Asian confederates, Q becomes a horror icon, Walt don’t got no back.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“You know how you eat something it’ll go to your gut? I always wished it’d go to my rear because it’s so flat and unappealing, wish I had more junk in the trunk” – Walt

“The old Prussian Kissing Devingskul” – Q mangles his words.

“And now for the grand finale, the ass!”  -Bry

Memorable Moments:

Q is in a horror movie Hatchet 4 and attends a 10th anniversary celebration for the original Hatchet where the finished Hatchet 4 is screened as a surprise.

Walt bemoans his flat backside, wishes he could have more junk in the trunk.

There is a rumor that the Prussian Kissing Devil has hypnotized TESD to spread it’s influence through the mini skulls sold at TESD merchtable.

An ESPN commentator Robert Lee steps down from announcing a game due to his ‘racially charged name’.

Walt wants to put the richest people faces on the money since they have the most of it.

Ming no longer works in computers and IT, he is officially AMC’s Ming Chen.

Walt believes mankind had help from aliens in it’s advancement of computer technology.  As proof Walt mentions a mural at a post office shows a native american using an iPhone in colonial times

Could Donald Trump really be the time traveler John Titor?  Walt lays down some ‘evidence’ to support this claim.

Bry reads a list of the top ten traits an alien visitor would have to possess.

Music:

Evoker – Here Comes the Metric System

Overkill #4: Help us…Help…Help

Pod Description:

Two young boys are visited by an alien. One old man is visited by an angel, almost runs over the Jersey Devil, & sees a coupla’ ghosts.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Rob Bruce

Listener James

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

“TESD knows the truth and Zune the world will too.” – Walt

Game Played:

Reoccurring Segment:

Memorable Moments:

Listener James wants help connecting with a boyhood friend who shared an encounter with a grey alien during a sleepover when they were 10.

Rob Bruce was saved by an angel following a car crash.

Rob Bruce also has 3 hours of missing time he claims could be alien related.

He also has a jersey devil sighting early in the morning driving down a forest road to the flea market.

Rob Bruce also used to live in a haunted apartment where he would see the ghost of an old lady.

Rob Bruce also has an unexplained device embedded in his arm.

Bry has a prophetic dream where a coworker steals money from the restaurant he worked at, the next night it came true.

 

Overkill #3: G-G-G-G-Ghost!!!

Pod Description:

This week on TESD:Overkill…Bry, Walt, & Q persuade Josh of ‘New Jersey True Paranormal’ to take them to an abandoned hospital on a ghostbusting expedition.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Ghost Hunter Josh

Mentioned Person:

Quotes:

TESD knows the truth, and Zune you will too – Walt

Have you ever encountered a Susscabus- Walt

Why can’t you pronounce Succubus? – Q

Game Played:

Reoccurring Segment:

Memorable Moments:

Josh from NJ true paranormal comes in setting the ground works for the willowbrook hospital ghost hunt.

Josh relates stories where he had debunked and stories he could not explain from his career as a ghost investigator.

Ghost hunter Hannah is a cleansing expert using white sage to get rid of ghosts.

Walt plays audio of a “real” excorcism.