One True Three
Two Live Crew or One Middle Aged Jew
Are You Worse Than Hitler
Host is judge, jury and executioner and will rule on who wins the game. The criteria for answers will not be given, as contestants will give completely honest opinions. The player with the correct opinion will be ruled worse than Hitler and the winner of the game.
What’s On the Menu
A notoriously picky eater, Walt will list several food items and the players must guess which among them he has actually eaten.
Sake to Ming
In this Newlywed Game inspired game Walt asks questions to the contestants significant others and then asks the players what they believe their partners answered.
Back Issue Bunk
Three comic book titles are presented to the contestants by the host, only one of which is real. Two of the titles are narrowed down by the contestants though a series of three questions. Which ever contestant picks the real book wins.
I Fought the Law and the Law One
Walt explains several strange or antiquated laws and the players must guess which laws are true and which Walt had made up.
Rotten Wieners, Stinky Clams
Bryan leads this game where he lists several horrifying murders and the players must guess if the perpetrator is a Man, a rotten wiener, or Woman, a stinky clam.
Rant or Ruse
Walt shows the players three commercials which he claims sent him into a hateful tirade against the makers of the commercial. The players must guess which of these Rants are legitimate and which are merely a Ruse.
You Don’t Ming Me Flowers
The object of the game is to keep a florist on the line as long as possible as you dictate what should go on the card. The opposing team writes what the card should say, making it as heinous as possible in the hopes to cause the florist to hang up in disgust. Whoever keeps the florist on the line the longest wins.
What Would Sunday Jeff Do
In this game the players must correctly guess which of the three responses was Sunday Jeff’s real reaction to an interview question given by Walt.
Walt will make a statement including a numerical statistic, I.E. How many people have died due to Black Friday shopping since 1980, and the player or team whose turn it is will guess a value. The opposing player or team will guess if the real statistic is either higher or lower than the number quoted by the other team.
Roll a Role
A 1970s church approved improvational board game where the players roll dice to be assigned roles to act out a dramatic or tense scene.
In this game Walt takes quotes from celebrities who are considered vapid and quotes from Ming Chen. The players are given one quote at a time and are tasked with discerning who it is attributed to. In the first appearance of the game the quotes were pulled from Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian
In this call-in game Bry and Q play for listeners as they try to guess what movie quote or song Gitem is performing.
Are You Horny?
Walt lists several bizarre sexual fetishes. The players must guess which of the fetishes are true documented fetishes or invented by Walt.
Opponents go Head to Head rapping insults at each other. A panel of Judges grade them to determine the winner.
The competitors must eat the most of a foul food in a set time limit.
Due to Polish Russian Roulette being pulled by the powers that be Walt comes up with a game taking on the only safe targets these days, White Men.
One True Three Go!!
Walt provides the players with three sports and their descriptions and they must guess which of the outlandish games is true.
It Don’t Ming a Thing if You Ain’t Got that Swing
Walt reads a list of terms used in the swinger lifestyle and the contestants must guess the definition of the term. Walt judges who is closer and awards a point
The Frank and Candid Quotes Game
Walt reads a quote from either Frank Sinatra, Frank Zappa, or Frank Miller and the players must guess who said it.
One True Tweet
Chris Laudando reads as series of tweets from a TESD alumni. The contestants must pick the real tweet.
When Walt is away the Space Monkeys will play. Bry and Q host this TESD offshoot where they can take on hot button topics.
Baron Von Flanagan
Walt dons his cape and top hat to tell spine tingling facts to blow your minds. THUNDER CLAP
What once began as a 16 episode Zune exclusive breaks into TESD proper when Walt Bry and Q bring forward mysterious tales of the unknown.
#120: Double-O Q and the Honey Boo Boo Segment on the Goat Man
#193: Heil Honey Segment on Ghost Ships
#208: Moon Fever Segment on the Doggie Suicide Bridge
Pusshole of the Week
Bryan Johnson declares someone who has acted unmanly or cowardly to be the Pusshole of the Week
12 Minutes in Hell
Walt and Gitem sit down for a short mini podcast at the end of an episode where an ad has played too close to the end of the show in order to act as filler.
A promotional opportunity for Secret Stash merchandise.
Bryan scours the internet finding larger than life stories.
You Hitlearn Something New
Also known as Furher Information. Walt brings up bizarre or degrading news stories about Adolf Hitler.
Heard Around the Walter-Cooler
A reoccurring segment where Walt presents three provocative headlines to news stories you could theoretically tell around the water-cooler at an office while on break. Bry and Q pick one of the stories they want to hear and Walt proceeds to tell it.
I Sell Comics Song Contest
Walt wrote song lyrics to a song called I Sell Comics and was asking listeners to come up with the music to accompany it.
I SELL COMICS
What manner of creature stands behind this counter
Man or machine is the big mystery
and with every transaction I cement my place in history.
My fingers dance over the register keys leaving your mouth agape
and it’s not ’cause I make King Kong look like just another ape
but it’s just another sale to this comics-selling alpha male.
I could sell comics to a blind man
a Wednesday warrior through and through
and you’ll buy everything I tell you to.
I sell comics baby. Comics baby. Comics baby. Oooooooo…..Yeahhhhhhhh
In WW two the allies kicked nazi ass and Hitler sobbed nein, nein, nein
Just like my competition when they hang that going out of business sign.
Song ends with register sounds, drawer opening/closing
Trial by Fire…. Ants
“In the TellEm’ Steve Dave Town justice system the ants are represented by two separate but equally important people: Troy, who investigates crimes, and Walt, who prosecutes the offenders. Or sometimes GitEm prosecutes the offenders and Troy wonders what he’s doing there in the first place. These are their stories. “
In this segment a TESD town resident who has been accused of wrongdoing must stand before a judge and plead their case.
Judge: Brian Quinn
Prosecutor: Walt Flanagan and Bryan Johnson
Defendant: Chris Laudando
Judge: Bryan Johnson
Prosecutor: Gitem SteveDave
Defendant: Brian Quinn
Defense Attorney: Walt Flanagan
Bailiff: Brian Maxwell
Witnesses: Mike Zapcic, Ming Chen, Simmy, Chris Laudando,