“Chestnuts roasting in his open mouth” Bry to Ming.
“I can’t find Hannah Brothers anywhere on this fucking thing” Walt making fun of Q mispronouncing Hanna Barbara.
“…Walk beside me and be my friend. It takes a long time to grow an old friend. A true friend is someone that thinks you are a good egg, even though they know you are slightly cracked. A friend is someone that knows all about you and still likes you…”
~Walt on TESD X-Mas 2011
Family Feud, High Low, Christmas Bunk
The guys discuss Christmas traditions in their own families.
Ming reveals that his family did not celebrate Christmas at all growing up as they were too cheap to get presents, his first real Christmas was with Debbie’s family at the age of 23. Ming’s new favorite Christmas tradition is playing “hide the pickle”.
Sunday Jeff tells about his Hannukah traditions and how he used to get 8 smaller gifts, one for each night, but later in life he would just get one big gift the first night “blowing his load”.
Q had a traditional Italian Christmas Eve where he would go to mass and open presents the night before Christmas. Today he doesn’t really celebrate Christmas and instead volunteers to work at the Fire Department so the guys with families don’t have to.
Bryan remembers arguments and fistfights nearly every Christmas as Edgar would complain people spent too much money on gifts.
Walt likes to drive around and look at Christmas lights with his kids. Walt’s oldest daughter is starting to get embarrassed by him and doesn’t want him hanging around the mall waiting for her and her friends.
In 6th grade Bry walks to his girlfriends house with presents for her and her entire family, but is not allowed inside and waits in the cold until he gives up and goes home.
Walt imagines a life where Sunday Jeff is his next door neighbor.
Sunday Jeff proclaims Wizard of Oz to be the best Christmas movie ever made.
Walt tells the guys of the classic tickle torture game “Doctor Tangle” and the Christmas tradition of the Bethlehem shitter “The Caganer”.
Walt gives home made gifts to the guys. Ming gets an audio recording of stiletto high heels walking on wood floor. Sunday Jeff gets a song by Westboro Baptist Church members “Santa Claus will Take you to Hell” so he won’t be sad that Santa doesn’t visit him. Walt gives Q a recording of a song called “A Place you can go: Staten Island”. Bryan gets the most heartfelt gift as Walt reads him motivating words over a calming rendition of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
Q buys plots of land on the moon for Walt and Bry.
Bry tells the story of the “Jaws Skateboard”. As a young boy all Bryan wanted for Christmas one year was a skateboard he had seen with the shark from Jaws painted on it. Leading up to Christmas Bryan had seen a skateboard wrapped up under the tree and was excited to open it, but when he did instead of Jaws he saw a rainbow colored skateboard with three seagull silhouettes on it. Kevin would then draw comics of Bryan sucking Elf dick because of how gay it was.