*Featured Image by Maribeth Johnson
Night one of the IJ cruise finds a heavily medicated Bry talking about his distaste for crossing guards, inventive snaps and werewolf schools.
A school crossing guard
An 18 year old girl
“The Wiccans have this figured out, the fucking air line industry hasn’t!” – Bry
“They wouldn’t let Sage on the boat. No Corona Virus, no Down Syndrome.” – Bry
“Just trying to collect bubble info” – Bry as Pam
“Rainbow, car, rainbow, plane, rainbow, boat, smiley emoji, kissyface emoji.” – A powerful magic spell
“Is that why you’re all hopped up on Goof Pills?” – Q
“I tried to put together a super team of comics, but I’ll have to settle for you.” – Bry after being stood up by Jim Breuer.
“Are school shootings less common at Werewolf schools because silver bullets are too expensive?” – Bry
Due to a corrupted SD card a newly recorded episode of TESD was lost and so this previously recorded episode of Space Monkeys from the February 2020 Impractical Jokers Cruise was released.
Q states he believes he might be too drunk for this Space Monkeys while Bry admits he might have taken too much Purple Drank as he has a cold.
Bryan regales the audience with the elaborate method Pam uses to cast a protective “white magic” bubble onto him during his travels. Q ponders if anyone loved Kobe enough to put a spell on him if he’d still be alive today.
Director Adam Green boasts about directing Frozen to impress younger ladies.
Joe Imburgio explains how being credited as a “comedy producer” is really just a scam to avoid the writers unions.
Bry workshops some Yo Momma “snaps” at Q’s place in the Catskills. Q offers to test it out in front of a sold out IJ crowd but the joke bombs. Bry wonders if it was a purposeful hit job by his friend or Q just wasn’t eloquent enough to speak it properly. He claims that people from Staten Island and people with Down Syndrome have the same vocal patterns. Shay gives Bryan’s snap a shot and has the proper intonation to make it hit.
“Yo Momma’s so dumb she forgot the lyrics to the Liberty Insurance jingle.”
Sage is a cheerleader in school this year. Bryan wants to get in the school spirit by coming dressed as a big game hunter when her team plays against animal named teams, complete with shotgun. He asks if that would be too far.
Bry gets annoyed at crossing guards who overstep their bounds. A crossing guard in the crowd is called upon to defend themselves. Bry recalls one positive experience with a crossing guard when as a child a guard named Henry protects Bryan from a gang of toughs.
Bryan provides hypothetical situations to a drunk 18 year old with a crush on Q on how far her love of him would go should she catch him in an illegal act. She seems fine with both insurance fraud and straight up murder.