Q is put on trial by Fireants for crimes against Reddit.
“I ask you, should a person with buck teeth be labeled unfuckable?” Walt
THIS ISN’T ABOUT GIT ‘EM, THIS IS ABOUT ME!!! – Q
“Brian Quinn is not a murderer… maybe he is, I don’t know but he’s not on trial for that.” – Walt
“Sometimes, you know, there are people who deserve inoperable cancer.” Walt
“The fact that you are shitting, makes it impossible for you to perform fellatio.” -Walt
Walt calls Rob Bruce to the stand, who uses his positive eBay feedback as evidence of his trustworthiness. As a “popculturist” Rob contends Q knows funny as IJ is a juggernaut in the current pop culture landscape. Gitem questions the validity of the title “popculturist” and accuses Rob Bruce of stealing jokes from online Blogs for Comic Book Men.
Q takes the stand to testify in his behalf. He tries to explain the Hillary long con and how it fell apart when she never appeared on IJ. Q explains that the constant tax complaints were just to troll listeners. The Prussian Kissing Devil story is revealed to only be 90% true.
Walt gives examples of how Q hasn’t changed much in the past 6 years and remains down to Earth and relatable including how he seldom misses TESD even with world wide tour dates and a deadly illness.
Gitem cross examines Q and posits that the aforementioned brain illness could have damaged the portion of his brain that knows what funny is. Gitem reads several real Reddit comments about himself telling him to kill himself and hopes he gets cancer. Gitem’s argument is that Q is blowing the hate he gets out of proportion when the hate Gitem gets is much more severe. One of Gitem’s most damning pieces of evidence is the unfulfilled IJ DVD bonus pod.
Walt’s closing arguments cite Texas VS Ethan Couch where a wealthy teenage boy got off a vehicular manslaughter charge because he suffered from Afluenza, where someone who is so rich and secluded he didn’t know his actions had consequences.