Walt loves standing in line, Bry hates craft stores, Xmas gift exchange.
“I thought the world was our oyster, turns out it was a stinky clam.” – Walt
“You don’t deserve the joy and the good will toward man.” – Walt to Bryan
“I need them to pay for my abortions, God damn it!” – Bryan
“They’re all a bunch of sluts, and hos, and thots.” – Bryan
“That’s why Bandcamp ain’t getting the Christmas album, they aren’t gonna fudge our numbers anymore.” – Walt
“Look at the minutes of life tick away as I stand sandwiched between this asshole and that asshole.” – Bryan
“I’m being held hostage!” – Bry in long holiday lines.
“Go ahead and live your solitary lonely existence! Hear the echo of your keyboard against the walls while me and the real people are connecting!” -Walt to Bryan.
“Can you people just please fuckin’ by those skulls.” – Q
Bryan can’t stand Christmas music since Pam would listen to it year round. A study shows that the constant exposure to Christmas music can lead to depression in retail workers. Walt says they listen to holiday music at the Stash but only the classics, nothing modern (post 90s). Bryan asks if you lose respect for musicians that sell out with Christmas albums, Joey Fatone is coming out with one. “A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector” is discussed and how they needed to change the name after his murder conviction.
Clips of Space Monkeys Save Christmas are played. It is set to be over 5 hours long and released on TellemSteveDave.com, bypassing Bandcamp. Bryan and Q say it is full of Space Monkeys style dark humor.
Bryan goes to Michaels and witnesses how long the lines are and decides to just order on Amazon. Walt goes to Michaels and chooses to wait as it is part of the holiday experience. Bry pissed they don’t organize better as they are the only game in town on Sundays since Hobby Lobby is closed Sundays due to their religious views.
Hobby Lobby’s conservative values are discussed and how they don’t want to supply birth control to their workers.
Walt exchanges gifts with Bryan and Q. Hoping to hit the millions of views that YouTube unboxing videos get he tapes the exchange for the TESD website. Bryan gets a canvas print of a Cryptozoic Man page and Q gets a 3D sculpted model of the 4 Color Demon by Ant Joseph Bradascio.
Walt gives gifts to the boys.
The Christmas plans of the guys are discussed. Walt is going to his brother in law’s house. Bry is set to return to Pam’s despite the Thanksgiving debacle. Q is visiting his family on Christmas Eve and playing video games alone on Christmas Day, just like he likes it.
Walt contemplates how to become a true podcasting sensation, he believes the bubble has burst on TESD and they won’t ever hit the big time. Bry is just fine with the audience, claims it is intimate and comfortable like a Flanagan holiday party.
A 13%er on the IJ cruise claims gifting money to the Prussian Kissing Devil Skull did not save her from catastrophe.
Cydeways – Illusion