#365: Nobody’s Goat

Description:

Walt extolls the virtues of Tim vs Time. Q misses the point of a museum.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Not that one! You keep showin’ the bad pictures. The eye-black one, where he’s on the field scowling.. brooding.. ‘I’m about to take your team down’ look.” – Walt

“Right… or your pants if you’re my son.” – Bry

“Should I google Tom Brady shirtless or just get one off your phone?” – Bry

Reocurring Segment:

Overkill

Memorable Moments:

Rosario Dawson introduces this episode with the Baron Von Flanagan summoning

Walt claims he can’t see stained glass.

Walt recounts the tale of being assaulted by a peacock.

During a late night trip to the Food Town Walt doesn’t make a turn as quickly as a young female driver would like and she loses her mind at him.  Walt waits in his car to try to avoid an altercation but when he finally does go into the store she is waiting for him.  She continues to scream at him and the security guard tells Walt to leave her alone.

Tom Brady releases a documentary about how great he is and makes out with his 11 year old son.  Would Walt Bry and Q have better relationships with their Dads if they did this?

Q ignores Civil Rights and Black History in favor of Indiana Jones at the Smithsonian.

Bry brings in an overkill topic about a woman who sacrificed her children in an Illuminati Voodoo ritual.

TESD announces a second Cochlear Album charity pod coming out soon to help another FDNY firefighter.

Music:

Desmond – Exile

#364: Himamānav

Description:

Bry gets as nasty as he wants to be, Git ‘Em runs afoul of Mike, a mystery substance lands on train tracks in a certain country.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Quotes:

His coffee stays hot for 24 hours, his rage stays hot for weeks -Q about mike

“You know what’s- what’s going on right here, in case you don’t realize, they are shit stirring.” ~Walt

Memorable Moments:

Crypto man pods available for download.

Someone writes an article about Walt and his family taken from info said on TESD and Walt’s wife’s Facebook. Declan contacts a lawyer on Walt’s behalf.

Thermal cup 2018 Gitem tweets about an infomercial and mike gets offended. Walt says Mike and Gitem are squabbling because they haven’t been able to bond over a shared hatred of Rob Bruce.

Rob Bruce and Dante almost come to blows after a poker game.

Next week a new game about conspiracy theories with Gitem as moderator.

Bry recounts the Nasty as we Wanna Be show with Mike and Ming and how he was accosted by a woman afterwards for telling a story about Sage.

Catholic priests in Ireland are putting Vatican on blast for not training enough exorcists.

Was it a meteor or a giant ball of shit that landed on a railway in India

Music:

Thy Kingdom Slum – Master Plan

 

#363: Kweeping up with the Kwinns

Description:

Bry & Q are invited to a football party, Walt loses a son, TESD loses a beloved game.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Sometimes there’s a chocolate fountain, sometimes there’s a stripper” – Bryan

“That’s life in a nutshell” – Q

“Hey, ugh, queer, homo, gay… suck a dick ehh, ahhh, everyone’s gay but me!” – Walt mocking Bryan

Walt: “I’m not kidding around, man. The blood drained from my face as she came out cuz I was like, ‘what the fuck, where are we?!’ “
Bry: “Where did the blood go? Did your wife drag you to the car?”

Bry: “Just so you know, if they wanna do something we’ve done on Tell ‘em Steve-Dave, there’s gonna be a powwow.”

Memorable Moments:

Bry was nervous about being invited to a football party at Sal’s house since he doesn’t follow the sport but luckily Sal got sick and cancelled.

Brett Favre steals Alec from Shriners hospital from Walt.

Bry asks if Q would change his last name to Kwinn due to his new found fans the Kardasians who mentioned IJ on their reality show.

Walt mentions Trump using the term shitholes and wonders what the backlash would be if he publicly endorsed TESD.  Walt says they have to retire the the bit.

Q has had a really rough week with depression.

Walt takes his family to a new chain restaurant Tilted Kilt without realizing that it is a “breastaurant”

Walt believes ethics and morals need to be taught in schools

Music:

Pets with Human Names – Terracotta

#362: Keepin’ it rawz & keepin’ it realz

Description:

Bry needs a wife, Q vs Seth Rogen sex tape, Walt struggles with a recent death.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“On my own fucking soul, when this person dies I will shit on their grave at the cemetary” – Q

“She tried to emasculate me” – Walt

“Yeah, she fuckin’ neutered you in front of a bunch of people who were then like ‘Yeah get out you ball-less homo” – Bry

“The only thing saving her soul is that she’s special needs” – Q about Sage’s new teenage lying.

Memorable Moments:

Bry revels in a 5 Star iTunes rating for TESD above the Nerdist’s 4.5.

The boys weigh in on the Stan Lee sexual harassment allegations. Walt would gladly accept flaccid dick pics in return for all the joy he’s brought him.

Bry is a frazzled single mom taking care of Sage, Walt’s daughter will soon babysit to help out.

Walt thinks Q can propel himself higher into the celebrity stratosphere with a well timed sex tape.

Susan from the post office has passed away.

Q will enact decades long revenge against people who slighted him. He keeps a list of people and actively plans on shitting on someone’s grave.

Bry is wrongfully accused of being the office streaker in the early days of view askew.

Music:

Casanovacaine – Wall of the Earth

#361: Git ‘Em Dies at the End

Episode Image by @kennyrubenis

Description:

Christmas and New Years reports, Git ‘Em has a near death experience, Baron Von Flanagan drops some sexy knowledge.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Quotes:

“You jerk off, do your nipples get hard?” – Q

“I’ll make you guys horny by these facts an thus you won’t be sad anymore” – Walt

“He emasculated his crew in front of you (and that made you feel better)” – Walt

“If you like that feeling you should come here almost every other day” – Git ‘Em

Walt: “To me, I see an 80 year old, I’m like ‘you’re gonna snap like a fuckin’ piece of spaghetti.’”

Bry: “That’s the only allure for me.”

Reoccurring Segments:

Baron Von Flanagon

Memorable Moments:

Walt wants to adopt Alec from the Shriner hospital commercial.

Bry spends New Years with Troy.

Gitem talks about visiting the cemetery to watch the ball drop with his grandma for several years.

Walt bemoans his daughters growing up and spending holidays with friends rather than family.

Bry pulls a Michael Douglas in Falling Down by demanding retribution when Sonic screws up his burger order for the 3rd time.

Gitem blacks out after telling a barn burner, no one leaps into action.

Q challenges Gitem to lose 75 pounds by October to win 5k.

The bawdy Baron gives sex facts.

Music:

NORM – Spilled Milk

 

#360: Happy Hamburger

Description:

Walt loves standing in line, Bry hates craft stores, Xmas gift exchange.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

I thought the world was our oyster, turns out it was a stinky clam. – Walt

Memorable Moments:

Walt goes to Michaels and stand in a really long line for wrapping paper.

Hobby Lobby and it’s conservative values is discussed.

Walt gives gifts to the boys.

xmas gift.jpg

Christmas music in retail stores depressed employees.

Discussion of “modern” Christmas songs

Music:

Cydeways – Illusion

 

#359: Blue Ballz 4 Kidz

Description:

Is midnight too late to text your tailor? Q throws shade at Emeril. TESD considers taking the Tim Tebow challenge.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

Almost every orgasm is an instant regret.-Q

Memorable Moments:

Bry turns 50, Walt says he needs to smash pre-conceived notions of 50 year old men.

Q gets his jeans tailored.

Q meets Tim Tebow

Ming gets a flux capacitor tattoo.

Walt asks Q how long he can go without sex like Tebow. What if there was a charity where people would pay per day he held out. The organization is Blue Ballz 4 Kidz 

The father of a friend of Bryan’s is a doctor and diagnosed Walt with hyperosmia or super smell

Music:

Blind Divide – Pathfinder

#358: F*ck the trees!

Description:

A Devils fan gets stabby. Walt “helps” Bry hang a TV and then spends the best $1.10 of his life.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Frank #5

Quotes:

“Declan is offering one on one training,” – Walt

“In blow jobs!” – Bry

“Did she help you?  What a nice lady, she’s going to be your Mommy soon.” – Bry to Sage about Stacy.

“I did not say it, I did Nooooooot.  Oh hai Pam” – Bry paraphrasing the Room about his Thanksgiving with Pam.

Memorable Moments:

A devils fan stabs a Philly fan for being disrespected.

A handy Walt helps Bry hang a TV, it does not go smoothly. Bryan new house is like a fun house all slanted and dark.

Bry has a thanksgiving argument with Pam when she starts making things up and refusing to admit she’s wrong. Jameson whiskey saves Qs thanksgiving .

Walt powers through Thankgsiving dinner despite the smell of shrimp emanating from the table.

Q would rather kill hundreds of trees in exchange of being able to sleep comfortably in air-conditioned hotel rooms.

Q has some trouble with the Friday the 13th game where when he plays as Jason the players controlling the counselors will taunt him for not being able to kill any of them.

Q doesn’t answer group texts.

Walt and family visit Busch Gardens to see the wonderful world of Rankin Bass Christmas display. Tom Tom gets Walt lost but he gets to use a personal private highway to get away from the general public.

Music:

Marbles & Pencils – Hands Up

#357: Kenan and Q

Description:

Old man Flanagan weighs in on the ‘family friendly’ IJ MSG show, Steve Harvey disappoints a nation, Bry has a hairy butt, Miss TESD Overbite contest.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice I got a fuckin DYFS investigation goin on” – Walt

“Well, we….. I dunno, I’m really disappointed” – Q

“I don’t know any Ants that are gonna cut a baby out of a womb” – Bry

“Wellll…” – Walt

“What does the Compliment Machine known as Edgar say about Pam’s cooking” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Walt was promised a family friendly act at the IJ show at MSG and was swindled. Colin Jost was filthy and the Jokers were making boner jokes. Q apologizes to Walt in front of the entire crowd.

Walt speaks his displeasure at the Miss Overbite contest, insisting it be a Space Monkeys venture.  Click Here and Here for the live video drawing of the winner.

Bry expresses wanting to be a cult leader. Walt says he already is one.

Bryan is surprised at Steve Harvey’s family feud.

Q meets Keenan Thompson and is blown away with how nice he is.

Thanksgiving plans. Walt and family are going to Houlihans, Bry is anticipating fights at home.  Picture of the #Japple

Once upon a time Q and Sal camp out for Black Friday only to have Murr pull up in a car and cut in line with them as soon as the doors open.

TESD announces a project 2 years in the making that will drop on Black Friday. TESD TV.

The traditional Xmas episode will drop December 21, “Space Monkeys Save Christmas”.

Merch:

TESD TV

Music:

The Rough Touch – Death Of A Preacher

#356: Better Late Than Never

Description:

Bry & Q return from the high seas. Walt offers up frowning disapproval of Bry’s life choices.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“This Mother Fucker” – Q

“My entire existence is built on nepotism” – Bry

“These wild Indians, they’re pounding firewater like it ain’t no thing.  Of course I want to keep up.”  -Bry

Memorable Moments:

Bry announces the first annual Space Monkeys present TESD Miss Overbite competition, much to Walt’s chagrin.

Bry says the rush of adrenaline on stage on the IJ cruise was better than any drug he’s ever taken.

Bry is half an hour late to his own Space Monkey show due to trying to keep up drink for drink with some rowdy Native Americans and drunkenly going in search of chicken fingers for them.  Q vows to get that half hour back on the next cruise by having it written in Bry’s contract that he will have to do whatever Q tells him to for that half hour.

A 15 year old 13%er is mistaken for Sage while on the cruise.

Q is getting ready for the IJ Madison Square Garden show which he promises Walt will be family friendly.  Q maintains that his only anxiety about the show is not performing in front of so many people but worrying that he will disappoint Walt.

A 15 year old joke pays off when Bry unveils he changed his “S” tattoo to a “Sal” tattoo.

DOiNFOpUQAAop5B.jpg

Q rallies the ants to get Bon Jovi in the rock and roll hall of fame.  He’s up against Judas Priest who Walt thinks might get in for PC reasons.  Walt questions how no one knew Rob Halford was gay considering the music video to Hot Rockin

Music:

Atragon – I, Necromancer