Author: tellemstevedavewiki

Description:

Bry gets as nasty as he wants to be, Git ‘Em runs afoul of Mike, a mystery substance lands on train tracks in a certain country.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Quotes:

His coffee stays hot for 24 hours, his rage stays hot for weeks -Q about mike

“You know what’s- what’s going on right here, in case you don’t realize, they are shit stirring.” ~Walt

Memorable Moments:

Crypto man pods available for download.

Someone writes an article about Walt and his family taken from info said on TESD and Walt’s wife’s Facebook. Declan contacts a lawyer on Walt’s behalf.

Thermal cup 2018 Gitem tweets about an infomercial and mike gets offended. Walt says Mike and Gitem are squabbling because they haven’t been able to bond over a shared hatred of Rob Bruce.

Rob Bruce and Dante almost come to blows after a poker game.

Next week a new game about conspiracy theories with Gitem as moderator.

Bry recounts the Nasty as we Wanna Be show with Mike and Ming and how he was accosted by a woman afterwards for telling a story about Sage.

Catholic priests in Ireland are putting Vatican on blast for not training enough exorcists.

Was it a meteor or a giant ball of shit that landed on a railway in India

Music:

Thy Kingdom Slum – Master Plan

 

Description:

Bry & Q are invited to a football party, Walt loses a son, TESD loses a beloved game.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Sometimes there’s a chocolate fountain, sometimes there’s a stripper” – Bryan

“That’s life in a nutshell” – Q

“Hey, ugh, queer, homo, gay… suck a dick ehh, ahhh, everyone’s gay but me!” – Walt mocking Bryan

Walt: “I’m not kidding around, man. The blood drained from my face as she came out cuz I was like, ‘what the fuck, where are we?!’ “
Bry: “Where did the blood go? Did your wife drag you to the car?”

Bry: “Just so you know, if they wanna do something we’ve done on Tell ‘em Steve-Dave, there’s gonna be a powwow.”

Memorable Moments:

Bry was nervous about being invited to a football party at Sal’s house since he doesn’t follow the sport but luckily Sal got sick and cancelled.

Brett Favre steals Alec from Shriners hospital from Walt.

Bry asks if Q would change his last name to Kwinn due to his new found fans the Kardasians who mentioned IJ on their reality show.

Walt mentions Trump using the term shitholes and wonders what the backlash would be if he publicly endorsed TESD.  Walt says they have to retire the the bit.

Q has had a really rough week with depression.

Walt takes his family to a new chain restaurant Tilted Kilt without realizing that it is a “breastaurant”

Walt believes ethics and morals need to be taught in schools

Music:

Pets with Human Names – Terracotta

Description:

Bry needs a wife, Q vs Seth Rogen sex tape, Walt struggles with a recent death.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“On my own fucking soul, when this person dies I will shit on their grave at the cemetary” – Q

“She tried to emasculate me” – Walt

“Yeah, she fuckin’ neutered you in front of a bunch of people who were then like ‘Yeah get out you ball-less homo” – Bry

“The only thing saving her soul is that she’s special needs” – Q about Sage’s new teenage lying.

Memorable Moments:

Bry revels in a 5 Star iTunes rating for TESD above the Nerdist’s 4.5.

The boys weigh in on the Stan Lee sexual harassment allegations. Walt would gladly accept flaccid dick pics in return for all the joy he’s brought him.

Bry is a frazzled single mom taking care of Sage, Walt’s daughter will soon babysit to help out.

Walt thinks Q can propel himself higher into the celebrity stratosphere with a well timed sex tape.

Susan from the post office has passed away.

Q will enact decades long revenge against people who slighted him. He keeps a list of people and actively plans on shitting on someone’s grave.

Bry is wrongfully accused of being the office streaker in the early days of view askew.

Music:

Casanovacaine – Wall of the Earth

Episode Image by @kennyrubenis

Description:

Christmas and New Years reports, Git ‘Em has a near death experience, Baron Von Flanagan drops some sexy knowledge.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Git ‘Em Steve-Dave

Quotes:

“You jerk off, do your nipples get hard?” – Q

“I’ll make you guys horny by these facts an thus you won’t be sad anymore” – Walt

“He emasculated his crew in front of you (and that made you feel better)” – Walt

“If you like that feeling you should come here almost every other day” – Git ‘Em

Walt: “To me, I see an 80 year old, I’m like ‘you’re gonna snap like a fuckin’ piece of spaghetti.’”

Bry: “That’s the only allure for me.”

Reoccurring Segments:

Baron Von Flanagon

Memorable Moments:

Walt wants to adopt Alec from the Shriner hospital commercial.

Bry spends New Years with Troy.

Gitem talks about visiting the cemetery to watch the ball drop with his grandma for several years.

Walt bemoans his daughters growing up and spending holidays with friends rather than family.

Bry pulls a Michael Douglas in Falling Down by demanding retribution when Sonic screws up his burger order for the 3rd time.

Gitem blacks out after telling a barn burner, no one leaps into action.

Q challenges Gitem to lose 75 pounds by October to win 5k.

The bawdy Baron gives sex facts.

Music:

NORM – Spilled Milk

 

Description:

Walt loves standing in line, Bry hates craft stores, Xmas gift exchange.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“I thought the world was our oyster, turns out it was a stinky clam.” – Walt

“You don’t deserve the joy and the good will toward man.” – Walt to Bryan

“I need them to pay for my abortions, God damn it!” – Bryan

“They’re all a bunch of sluts, and hos, and thots.” – Bryan

“That’s why Bandcamp ain’t getting the Christmas album, they aren’t gonna fudge our numbers anymore.” – Walt

“Look at the minutes of life tick away as I stand sandwiched between this asshole and that asshole.” – Bryan

“I’m being held hostage!” – Bry in long holiday lines.

“Go ahead and live your solitary lonely existence!  Hear the echo of your keyboard against the walls while me and the real people are connecting!” -Walt to Bryan.

“Can you people just please fuckin’ by those skulls.” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Bryan can’t stand Christmas music since Pam would listen to it year round.  A study shows that the constant exposure to Christmas music can lead to depression in retail workers.  Walt says they listen to holiday music at the Stash but only the classics, nothing modern (post 90s).  Bryan asks if you lose respect for musicians that sell out with Christmas albums, Joey Fatone is coming out with one.    “A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector” is discussed and how they needed to change the name after his murder conviction.

Clips of Space Monkeys Save Christmas are played.  It is set to be over 5 hours long and released on TellemSteveDave.com, bypassing Bandcamp.  Bryan and Q say it is full of Space Monkeys style dark humor.

Bryan goes to Michaels and witnesses how long the lines are and decides to just order on Amazon.  Walt goes to Michaels and chooses to wait as it is part of the holiday experience.  Bry pissed they don’t organize better as they are the only game in town on Sundays since Hobby Lobby is closed Sundays due to their religious views.

Hobby Lobby’s conservative values are discussed and how they don’t want to supply birth control to their workers.

Walt exchanges gifts with Bryan and Q.  Hoping to hit the millions of views that YouTube unboxing videos get he tapes the exchange for the TESD website.  Bryan gets a canvas print of a Cryptozoic Man page and Q gets a 3D sculpted model of the 4 Color Demon by Ant Joseph Bradascio.

Walt gives gifts to the boys.

The Christmas plans of the guys are discussed.  Walt is going to his brother in law’s house.  Bry is set to return to Pam’s despite the Thanksgiving debacle.  Q is visiting his family on Christmas Eve and playing video games alone on Christmas Day, just like he likes it.

Walt contemplates how to become a true podcasting sensation, he believes the bubble has burst on TESD and they won’t ever hit the big time.  Bry is just fine with the audience, claims it is intimate and comfortable like a Flanagan holiday party.

A 13%er on the IJ cruise claims gifting money to the Prussian Kissing Devil Skull did not save her from catastrophe.

Music:

Cydeways – Illusion

Description:

A Devils fan gets stabby. Walt “helps” Bry hang a TV and then spends the best $1.10 of his life.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Frank #5

Quotes:

“Declan is offering one on one training,” – Walt

“In blow jobs!” – Bry

“Did she help you?  What a nice lady, she’s going to be your Mommy soon.” – Bry to Sage about Stacy.

“I did not say it, I did Nooooooot.  Oh hai Pam” – Bry paraphrasing the Room about his Thanksgiving with Pam.

Memorable Moments:

A devils fan stabs a Philly fan for being disrespected.

A handy Walt helps Bry hang a TV, it does not go smoothly. Bryan new house is like a fun house all slanted and dark.

Bry has a thanksgiving argument with Pam when she starts making things up and refusing to admit she’s wrong. Jameson whiskey saves Qs thanksgiving .

Walt powers through Thankgsiving dinner despite the smell of shrimp emanating from the table.

Q would rather kill hundreds of trees in exchange of being able to sleep comfortably in air-conditioned hotel rooms.

Q has some trouble with the Friday the 13th game where when he plays as Jason the players controlling the counselors will taunt him for not being able to kill any of them.

Q doesn’t answer group texts.

Walt and family visit Busch Gardens to see the wonderful world of Rankin Bass Christmas display. Tom Tom gets Walt lost but he gets to use a personal private highway to get away from the general public.

Music:

Marbles & Pencils – Hands Up

Description:

Old man Flanagan weighs in on the ‘family friendly’ IJ MSG show, Steve Harvey disappoints a nation, Bry has a hairy butt, Miss TESD Overbite contest.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice I got a fuckin DYFS investigation goin on” – Walt

“Well, we….. I dunno, I’m really disappointed” – Q

“I don’t know any Ants that are gonna cut a baby out of a womb” – Bry

“Wellll…” – Walt

“What does the Compliment Machine known as Edgar say about Pam’s cooking” – Q

Memorable Moments:

Walt was promised a family friendly act at the IJ show at MSG and was swindled. Colin Jost was filthy and the Jokers were making boner jokes. Q apologizes to Walt in front of the entire crowd.

Walt speaks his displeasure at the Miss Overbite contest, insisting it be a Space Monkeys venture.  Click Here and Here for the live video drawing of the winner.

Bry expresses wanting to be a cult leader. Walt says he already is one.

Bryan is surprised at Steve Harvey’s family feud.

Q meets Keenan Thompson and is blown away with how nice he is.

Thanksgiving plans. Walt and family are going to Houlihans, Bry is anticipating fights at home.  Picture of the #Japple

Once upon a time Q and Sal camp out for Black Friday only to have Murr pull up in a car and cut in line with them as soon as the doors open.

TESD announces a project 2 years in the making that will drop on Black Friday. TESD TV.

The traditional Xmas episode will drop December 21, “Space Monkeys Save Christmas”.

Merch:

TESD TV

Music:

The Rough Touch – Death Of A Preacher

Description:

Bry & Q return from the high seas. Walt offers up frowning disapproval of Bry’s life choices.

Host/Guest:

Bryan Johnson

Walt Flanagan

Brian Quinn

Quotes:

“This Mother Fucker” – Q

“My entire existence is built on nepotism” – Bry

“These wild Indians, they’re pounding firewater like it ain’t no thing.  Of course I want to keep up.”  -Bry

Memorable Moments:

Bry announces the first annual Space Monkeys present TESD Miss Overbite competition, much to Walt’s chagrin.

Bry says the rush of adrenaline on stage on the IJ cruise was better than any drug he’s ever taken.

Bry is half an hour late to his own Space Monkey show due to trying to keep up drink for drink with some rowdy Native Americans and drunkenly going in search of chicken fingers for them.  Q vows to get that half hour back on the next cruise by having it written in Bry’s contract that he will have to do whatever Q tells him to for that half hour.

A 15 year old 13%er is mistaken for Sage while on the cruise.

Q is getting ready for the IJ Madison Square Garden show which he promises Walt will be family friendly.  Q maintains that his only anxiety about the show is not performing in front of so many people but worrying that he will disappoint Walt.

A 15 year old joke pays off when Bry unveils he changed his “S” tattoo to a “Sal” tattoo.

Q rallies the ants to get Bon Jovi in the rock and roll hall of fame.  He’s up against Judas Priest who Walt thinks might get in for PC reasons.  Walt questions how no one knew Rob Halford was gay considering the music video to Hot Rockin

Music:

Atragon – I, Necromancer